We Scandinavians should always stick together and support each other as tiny, peaceful nations in a world of hungry pitbulls. But the Danes make that very hard sometimes:
As Norwegians we are meant to have some sort of (post)colonial relationship to Denmark, looking up to them as our metropolitan connection to the world, the ones who provide us with fresh ideas, teach us how to behave and set the standard we should all try to reach, whether we want to or not.
Here’s a sentence we never thought we’d say: We think the Dutch artist is highly underrated this year. So far at least.
It’s not like we approve of those Dutchmen very often in Eurovision, but this year’s artist is different. Being only 23 years old, Douwe Bob already seems well established. He was voted the best singer-songwriter in The Netherlands in 2012, and he has released two records after that, which are both very worth listening to – something we also rarely say in this website. While the first one, Born in a Storm, has a happy folk feel to it in a Ryan Adams and Mumford & Sons kind of way, last year’s Pass it On flirts a tiny bit more with blues and rock in a retro way, which is not a bad idea at all.
The quality of Azerbaijan’s Eurovision entries has deteriorated proportionally with the plummeting oil prizes over the past couple of years. A mere coincidence perhaps, but we assume hiring the best Swedish songwriters doesn’t come cheap. Besides, with the current state of the country’s economy the Azeris seem not in a hurry to host the contest again anytime soon.
Needless to say the expectations went through the roof in the Good Evening Europe HQ back in February when Wiwibloggs reported that the Greek song was going to have “… strong ethnic and Balkan sounds, but not in a traditional way”. And moreover “The lyrics will refer to the refugee crisis and the financial difficulties we are facing, but the song is really happy and upbeat.” Hallelujah, what could possible go wrong? We felt like the Greek Gods had answered our countless prayers.
So, Ireland sends their love. And Westlife:
Here’s how we would have reviewed Ireland in 1998, where this entry really belongs:
Dear diary,
Wow, we just disvovered this amaaaaazing artist from Ireland and he is soooooooo handsome <3 <3 <3 When he sings ”I’ll be your lover boy”, we feel like he only sings to us. And our hearts beat so fast at every ”love like beginners”. Because, diary, we think for the first time we really are in love. Just like Victoria when she met David Beckham, right? Did you know Nicky is also a footballer? OMG OMG OMG.
We imagine there must be a kibbutz in Israel dedicated to cultivating whole contingents of prospective Eurovision participants. Every season the domestic market is flooded by freshly squeezed products, ready to populate every talent show there is. Each and every one of them with the ultimate goal of ending up on the ESC stage. Continue reading
So this Thomas G:Son is a funny guy. Right when we had him pegged as a notorious schlager machine for half of Europe’s shiny botox queens, he starts writing indie rock for Georgia?
Not that we disapprove. At all. Maybe it was due to the inspiration he got from Nina Sublatti last year or maybe it is the fact that he accidentally ran into Minus One while sunbathing in Aiya Napa in Septemer, but G:Son certainly dicovered rock, and that is the best news we’ve had since Dr. Alban quit music.
If there is one person in this competition we count on never leaving the madness behind, it is this one:
Why he sings about the opposite, though, is beyond us. Maybe it is some weird form of irony that never got out of Minsk due to certain import/export restrictions. Nonetheless, Ivan is quickly becoming a favorite of ours after showing up in several fan parties singing everybody’s socks off and acting completely bonkers, just like you’re supposed to in Eurovision. Also, there was a prequel of him running all over the Internet making promises about live wolves and naked bodies. More about that in our x-rated section of the internet after Midnight. Let’s talk music.
Sigh, every year it’s the same story:
1. Lots of fuss surrounding the build-up to the TVE internal selection/national final. Fans, broadcaster’s PR executives and artist managements rave on about how the next entry from Spain is going to be THE BEST ENTRY EVER, AND IT’S GOING TO WIN EUROVISION!
As close as we GEE girls might seem to be in our common goal of Eurovisionizing the world by digging up the gold, trashing the trash in carefully selected recycle bins and putting all the glamour we can find on the finest display available, we do hit a few bumps along the road. Like Poland this year:
When we first heard it, we were both in total shock, desperately trying to comfort each other while screaming THIS IS SO BAD, WTF IS GOING ON IN POLAND THESE DAYS? WHERE IS MARCIN MROZÍNSKI WHEN YOU NEED HIM? Then we listened to it for a while longer and it grew on us and we were like WOW, THIS SO COOL, HOW THE F DID WARZAW BECOME THE NEW HIPSTER TOWN? CAN SOMEONE CALL WILLIAMSBURG?