MGP 2016: Wrong country!

Sorry, man. You just missed the Mister Aiya Napa 2016 pageant.
Sorry, man. You just missed the Mister Aiya Napa 2016 pageant.

Back in the very old days, like around when Per Sundnes was born, Norwegians used to go to Aiya Napa, Maspalomas and Magaluf for their winter hollidays. There they would drink all the tequila they could find, throw up in all the garbage cans available, dress in the cheapest dresses for sale at the beach, feel like true local people and have the time of their life. And the music they would play continously throughout the day? It sounded exactly like Freddy Kalas.

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MGP 2016: If horses had wings, they could fly

Pegasus – «Anyway»

Jon Bon Jovi’s unknown son grew up in Oppsal, Oslo. Steve-O from Jackass to the left

For the love of all that’s holy in the world of Eurovision, can someone please tell us why there always has to be a dansband in MGP? They never win, hardly nobody even wants them to win, except maybe their wives and their manager, and quality wise it’s so substandard that most bands sell their music at petrol stations. Continue reading

MGP 2016: Will she rise to the occation?

Makeda – «Stand Up»

A beautiful illustration of how to stand up. Watch and learn, peepz!

One should think that skipping the semi-finals in MGP, there should be ten really good songs in the final, with no need for fillers. Apparently not, cause Stand Up has filler written all over. Conveniently placed as number 4 in the running order it will serve its purpose as a pleasant, bouncy, happy go lucky number which no one will remember in the end.

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MGP 2016: Frozen edition

Stine Hole Ulla – «Traces»

Meet Elsa!

Holy smoke, this girl can sing! Which is about the only positive thing we can say about this horrific screechaton, bluntly stolen and copied from the same mold as every Disney movie score ever to be made. Heck, Stine Hole Ulla even looks like Elsa from Frozen. We DARE her to appear on stage in Oslo Spectrum in a turquoise dress. Continue reading

Sanremo finals – facts and highlights

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Wow! Even Thomas G:Son got a boobjob before entering San Remo!

So, there’s Sanremo going on. AKA the Italian national finals for Eurovision. We’re talking about a country that really aces in national finals. We’ve already seen a lot of fabulousness in the semi finals, like this lady dressed up as Donatella Versace/Thomas G:Son/both of those and Nicole Kidman showing up for a chit chat, which we couldn’t understand a word of, as it was simultaneously dubbed to Italian. And neither could she, probably, but she looked great in her newest botox, we’ll give her that.

Also, there is music. Great music. In fact, the Italians tend to take this contest so seriously the level of their national finals almost exceeds the Eurovision final itself. Not bad for a country that also gave us Eros Ramazotti.

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We proudly present Melodi Grand Prix 2015

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Warning! Old lady and turkey coming up (No, this is not Tor & Bettan, but a still from Mørland & Debrah Scarlett’s music video. It’s time for REDRUM in Spectrum).

 

It’s that weekend of the year. MGP is on in Spectrum and we get to decide our national winner among all of NRK’s treasures. We’ll be leaving Oslo due to fear of running into Per Sundnes or one of Alexander Rybak’s former lovers, but we have a few opinions about those who stay.

There are basically three categories of MGP:

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Final in MALTA – updated reviews and favorites

“I’ll just close my eyes for a while and pretend my Norwegian fan club is sitting right in front of me”

Whatta great evening yesterday was, filled with all that Maltese fabulousness live streamed to us from Valletta. It was almost as if we could feel the heat streaming right into our deep frozen Nordic souls, and we’re sure Daniel Testa gave a little extra just to help us turn the sun over here. We so wish we were in Marsa tonight, taking part in all that cheering and partying, but at least we are sending all the love and crossed fingers we can, both from Oslo and New York.

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MALTA Elfejn U Hmistax!

Daniel Testa is on stage! Someone please lock up the middle aged Norwegian ladies.
Daniel Testa is on stage! Someone please lock up the middle aged Norwegian ladies.

While we are freezing our asses off in Norway, things are really starting to heat up in Malta. Man, did we ever feel as misplaced as Vladimir Putin in Euro Club? You might not have known, but being at the very forefront of the industrial development, Malta even reached 2015 already. And what better to do then than to kick off the national final for Eurovision? Coming up is our reviews of tonight’s semi final in MESC, elfejno hmistax:

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