National finals

MGP – awards of the evening

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We identify with this lady. One hundred per cent.
We identify with this lady. One hundred per cent.

Yeah, MGP went as expected. Norway gathered a lot of hobgoblins onstage, let the only good artist down and voted for a rubbish song. We are utterly disappointed we won’t be packing our sami flags and sølje jewellery in May. But at least we had a great party with Elin and her wood, got rid of Kristian Valen early and can still count of Hungary’s Joci for some ethnic vibe in Kyiv (that is if he is not bullied to silence first, shame on you, Hungarians).

Nonetheless. We have some awards to hand out:
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MGP 2016: Taking stock

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Holy cannoli, what just happened last night? That’s it then, after a string of fine entries placing us nicely on the left-handside of the ESC scoreboard, Norway officially lost the plot when selecting Agnete and her rather gloomy mash-up. Don’t blame us, we sent our televotes elsewhere, which was of course a waste of money. Can we please send Åse Kleveland instead? So while mentally preparing for what it will be like not to proceed from the semi-final in Stockholm, let’s take stock of the shenanigans that went down in Oslo Spectrum.

The wonderful planet named Eurovision. The gift that keeps on giving.


Most obvious wasted opportunity:
The very year Europe was ready to embrace a lesbian art collective singing about a dog in space, Norway decided NOT to send Laika to Stockholm. Continue reading

MGP 2016: When not making your mind up

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Agnete – «Icebreaker»

Don’t mess with chicks from Nesseby!

The average Eurovision fan sure knows to appreciate a familiar face, and Agnete already earned her fame as MGPjr winner and MGP runner up long before she never finished high school. Lately she has claimed her fair share of primetime TV exposure and proved that she can carry a tune live without caving under the pressure of knowing half the country is watching. Her dancing skills are not too shabby either it turns out, all of which is of course nice to know in case we accidentally manage to vote her all the way to Stockholm in May. Continue reading

MGP 2016: High School Musical edition

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Suite 16 – «Anna Lee»

The guys in Suite 16 hope their fake ID’s will get them into the afterparty on Saturday

We assume Suite 16 missed the application deadline for MGPjr, or clearly there’s been a misunderstanding somewhere leading up to them ending up in the MGP for grownups. We much rather prefer they stayed at home and kept their bedtimes on a Saturday night and recommend them to finish high school first before coming back. Continue reading

MGP 2016: Soon to be forgotten

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Elouiz – «History»

A sneak peak of Ellos’ next spring collection. Cardigans in fifty shades of blue!

We’ve never heard of Elouiz before and were kinda relieved that it was not a dansband from Hedmark. But when it turns out it’s a 20-year-old Swede who, according to her bio, never performed for a live audience before, we dunno what we would have preferred. Where do NRK find these people? Did they not find a single artist in the pile of contributions this year more worthy to make the cut? Somehow we find that very hard to believe. Continue reading

MGP2016: Eurovision by the numbers

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Laila Samuels – «Afterglow»

Laila Samuels, staring into the abyss

Laila Samuels ALMOST became a superstar in the mid 90s as the lead singer of a popband no one remembers. We’re positively beside ourselves with joy now that she’s FINALLY making her comeback. Or not really, but according to the hype NRK is trying to create, that’s how we’re suppose to feel at least. Continue reading

MGP 2016: Wrong country!

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Sorry, man. You just missed the Mister Aiya Napa 2016 pageant.
Sorry, man. You just missed the Mister Aiya Napa 2016 pageant.

Back in the very old days, like around when Per Sundnes was born, Norwegians used to go to Aiya Napa, Maspalomas and Magaluf for their winter hollidays. There they would drink all the tequila they could find, throw up in all the garbage cans available, dress in the cheapest dresses for sale at the beach, feel like true local people and have the time of their life. And the music they would play continously throughout the day? It sounded exactly like Freddy Kalas.

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MGP 2016: If horses had wings, they could fly

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Pegasus – «Anyway»

Jon Bon Jovi’s unknown son grew up in Oppsal, Oslo. Steve-O from Jackass to the left

For the love of all that’s holy in the world of Eurovision, can someone please tell us why there always has to be a dansband in MGP? They never win, hardly nobody even wants them to win, except maybe their wives and their manager, and quality wise it’s so substandard that most bands sell their music at petrol stations. Continue reading