Do we want another statement song from Serbia?

Every year there are bound to be a few statement songs and in Stockholm, Serbia will provide one of those. As long as it’s not Russia with yet another peace anthem, which in any case is always intolerable, we’re usually cautiously overbearing. As shown by Romania last year it can be quite clever to use the opportunity to reach a potential audience of some 130 million people to transmit a message of real concern and importance.

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Estonia on repeat

Judging by the last couple of Eurovision entries we gather Estonia must be the smugness capital of Europe. This bolstering self-confidence strikes us a wee bit unwarranted for a tiny, insignificant country tucked away on the outskirts of Europe, but we must admit we find it kind of sexy too. Maybe it’s just an act for all we know, and if so well played.

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Sketchy Germany

We can only assume that all the artists competing in this year’s Unser Lied für Stockholm understood the part about winning would actually imply getting on a plane and performing in Globen in May. And we gather the broadcaster NDR vetted them all very carefully to make sure no one had as much as a parking ticket since they obviously forgot to do just that when they initially selected Xavier Naidoo. Who knew Germany could create so much drama? Pass us the popcorn!

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You are alone, UK

There are a lot of things we simply don’t get about UK’s participation in Eurovision over the past few years. Like how the BBC insists on sending the LEAST experienced artists they could possibly manage to pick up from a pool of talent show rejects. Or alternatively, some random geriatric hasbeen they almost have to wheelchair on stage. Finding some sort of middle ground here would probably been perfectly acceptable, and could not by any means have done any worse.

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Sound of Australia

There’s something about Australia. No matter what they try to make it all ends up a little too plastic fantastic.

As we all know, this the second time Australia participates in Eurovision, and that is so highly welcomed as a tradition by us, aye? But sadly it is also the second time we end up thinking “Well, that was nice, mate. Next, please!”. It’s not like the song is bad or anything. And both artists have been equally great performers. The song just doesn’t stick with us. We keep wondering if Australia is capable of making anything genuine besides kangaroos, shiraz and Hugh Jackman, and we keep landing on ‘no’.

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Just another epic fail from Denmark

We Scandinavians should always stick together and support each other as tiny, peaceful nations in a world of hungry pitbulls. But the Danes make that very hard sometimes:

As Norwegians we are meant to have some sort of (post)colonial relationship to Denmark, looking up to them as our metropolitan connection to the world, the ones who provide us with fresh ideas, teach us how to behave and set the standard we should all try to reach, whether we want to or not.

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