What we noticed in the third day of rehearsals

– Oh shoot, I forgot we don’t have a trampoline. Pic by Andres Putting/EBU

Today we want to start with awarding Egypt for giving us both Mahmood and, quite recently, a cease-fire for this year’s Eurovision. Great effort and dedication. They should be invited to have Australia’s spot next year. Anyway, we are ready to focus solely on life inside the arena. And here’s what we noticed during today’s rehearsals:

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Our 10 favorites in the second semi-final 2018

Could this be the new Godess of Eurovision? (Photo by: Andres Putting/EBU)

We got 7 out of 10 of our favorites through to the Grand Final. Let’s see if we can beat that tonight! We had a big row at Hard Rock Cafe last night to settle on a list, the fanboys next to us looked a little scared. Turns out we have changed our minds about a few since we wrote the reviews, click on the links see which ones. Continue reading

What we noticed in the dress rehearsal for the second semi-final

As the actual jury final tonight interrupts with our busy party schedule we watched the second dress rehearsal from the arena. Here’s what we noticed!

– Lord Jon Ola Sand, give me the votes to win again! (Photo by: Andres Putting/EBU)

Norway: The fact that Alex is currently third in the press center poll where everybody hates his song with passion tells us that he’s in with a pretty good shot at winning the whole shebang. Continue reading

What we noticed in the dress rehearsal for semi final 2

– Can you see my fellow singer? She seems to be lost on stage somewhere! Pic by Andres Putting/EBU
Time to get ready for dress rehearsal for semi final 2. As you probably know, there are two of them following each other, and the last one of them is the jury final, which the jury votes are based on. However, that crashes with our very important party schedule, so we can only cover the first one. This is what we noticed:

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Semi final 1 – awards of the evening

Australia is a little bit outside of the rest of Europe. Makes perfect sense. Pic by Thomas Hanses/EBU
Yay, tonight was fabulous, regardless of the fact that Finland and Iceland didn’t qualify. But let’s just blame that on Vladmir Putin for now. The arena is smaller than last year, and that makes it more fun for the audience. And that gives us quite a few awards to hand out:

Best jacket buttoning of the evening: Sweden’s Robin. We are so proud of you for managing to button your jacket all by yourself, darling.

Best superpower eyes of the evening: Australia’s Isaiah. If anyone tries to do anything scary in or around Eurovision, just let Isaiah have a look at them, We assure you, they’ll all turn nice in a second.

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Like Swiss clockwork

We’re staying true to our traditions and open this season’s reviews with Switzerland. Hurrah! And surprise, surprise, the Swiss are being equally predictable by sending off the usual mediocre semi-final filler for yet another year. At least they’re being as consistent as their own clockwork.

We were cautiously optimistic when we heard that Timebelle would compete in the national final again. We liked their first attempt at representing Switzerland two years ago and the quirky pop number Singing About Love would probably saved the Swiss from finishing dead last in Vienna. Unfortunately since then the group has changed direction, lost a couple of band members and gone all serious and gloomy on us. Gone are the playful happy go lucky girl next door, the chirpy accordion and the clunky guitars. It’s been replaced by a slicker, more mature sound, and Apollo is a rather repetitive and pathos filled mid-tempo ballad. Continue reading

Breaking news: 17 more songs should have been disqualified by the EBU

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– In Norway we never ever ever do anything wrong. That’s why it’s so disappointing when we lose to people who do. But at least I was photographed by Andres Putting/EBU

Attention! We who sign this article call upon the EBU and Jon Oh-la-la Sand to take action! In this exclusive article, we can now reveal that almost all of the countries in Norway’s semi final plus one more broke the rules in various ways. We can reveal that EBU does not take its own rules seriously and is quickly making Eurovision a place of lawlessness. If they had reacted in the right way, Norway’s Agnete would have sailed through to the final in her Arctic Icebreaker. And we all know she probably would have won.

This is outrageous beyond words and we now demand that around 10 – 20 countries must be banned from participating in ESC next year. We have launched several petitions on change.org and will most definitely have a word with EBU as soon as signatures start flooding in.

Read this truly shocking list and weep: Continue reading

Semi final 2: awards of the evening

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We do not have a flag. We repeat, that is not a weapon of mass destruction. Pic by no one from EBU. We hope.

Yay, that was one FABULOUS semi final. We are still high on Georgia or a naked Måns Zelmerlöw with woolf or vodka shots or all of the above, but we have a few awards to hand out, nonetheless.

Biggest cheer in the arena: The crowd during and after Australia’s performance. What a great idea of EBU to move Australia to Europe. It really saves us a lot of travelling time, so we’re considering spending New Year’s Eve in Sydney next year.

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Semi final 2: All you need to know!

Pew, now that’s a relief! Norway is through to the grand final and we survived the parade of eye candy without obtaining any permanent damage to anything else than our pride perhaps, as we went completely ape in our living rooms when Israel’s Golden Boy was on.

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Fortunately, this will be slightly altered for Saturday. We hereby want to thank the president of Azerbaijan for lending us a few bucks and putting in a good word for our excellent ability to act as stand-ins for Lithuanian women in need during demanding acts at Eurovision finals.

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