Our night: Losing points from Benjamin, being terrorized by Madonna, hooking up with Michael and singing on BBC

Hurrah! Happy Eurovision day from the arena! Áfram Ísland, Heia Norge, Forza Italia, etc, etc.

Puha! After a few uncomfortable questions from Mossad about things such as what the actual f… made us cheer for Estonia all of a sudden, the exact position of Victor’s very interesting scarf at this moment, whether Gaza is Israel or… and why we haven’t helped recruiting members for Benjamin’s very empty government among the Eurovision fans, we made it out of our gated community also known as Israel and can fire up our freedom of press again and go back to wearing cotton.

Continue reading

Our Verdict: Jury Final 2019

– We’re already three people here. The last thing we need is a camera man joining us (Photo by: Andres Putting)

The Grand Final is shaping up to be real corker of a show, chuck full of favorites in the first half, and come to think of it, the second half as well. Moreover, the national broadcaster here has been considerate enough to add a number of technical glitches and f*ck-ups which of course adds to the excitement.

Tonight is a big night where the jury will cast their votes, Italy will most likely once again do something to ruin their chances of winning, and we are of course in the Press Center to report about it. Buckle up!

Continue reading

Thank you for the party and here be the awards of the Norwegian jury

Dressing up and cheering like crazy for Norway in the press center when there are hundreds of journalists present. Always the best way to get ourselves on TV. PIc by TV 2
This day was inevitable: Eurovision is over. Lisbon has gone South. We have started wearing cotton again, our hair is all flat, we haven’t been interviewed by a single journalist for 24 hours, we listened to music that was not representing a country, we read a newspaper article that wasn’t about a country’s contestant in Eurovision and there is not a dishy head of press in sight to provide us with lovely boys to chat with.
Continue reading

What we noticed in the jury final for the grand final 2018

We hate to be stating the obvious, but you are finished. Don’t you know vampires should stay away from the sun? (pic by Thomas Hanses/EBU)

Yay, we are at the press center watching the jury final before tomorrow’s Grand Final. This is, as many of you know, the dress rehearsal with a live audience upon which all the juries votes for tomorrow are based, so it matters a lot how the artists are doing at this very moment. Fuckups have been known to happen before and we have been known to report them. This is what we noticed: Continue reading

Final remarks after the final

It was a pity Andres Putting wasn’t around to take our picture, but we did our best in iPhone blue.
Time to face the facts: Eurovision season is over. We have again started wearing cotton and going to sleep before midnight, there is not a cheesy Georgian bread in sight and no journalist has contacted us for a comment all day. All that is left are tons of good memories and our gelnails, that apparently never go away. Should have googled this before entering that nail salon in Kyiv, but at least pink and turquoise is in fashion.

Continue reading

Some thoughts before the grand final

When we discovered the mask didn’t work, we decided to make use of the second largest Norwegian symbol: Our flag. Pic by Thomas Hanses/EBU

Hooray, it’s the national day of all fans: The day of the Eurovision final! As always it is a day of conflicted emotions, as it is also the last day of two weeks of fabulous celebration and partying with amazing artists and fans from all over Europe and Australia. And we have to leave the fantastic city of Kyiv tomorrow, which will be like leaving the newfound love of our lives. Also, we think the hunky guys at the fabulous Druzi café will miss us coming in every morning to cure our carefully crafted hangover with two eggs and an avocado smoothie and more black coffee than any Ukrainian has ever been able to order in one day.

Continue reading

The final evening – awards of excellence

Jamala Andres Putting.jpg
Yaşlığıma toyalmadım! Repeat that three times. Pic by Andres Putting/EBU
Wow, that was a fantastic final night! Not only did we manage to get on TV twice, but it was also one of the best shows we have ever seen in front of a stage! And then Ukraine had us all fooled and went ahead and won the whole thing in the most exciting voting process ever!

We started wearing cotton again and struggle to not reach Post Eurovision Depression Syndrom yet, but it is kind of hard as we are already back in Norway and here they entered that days ago. Nonetheless. We have quite a few awards to hand out:

Best start of a final evening: The great Thomas G:Son himself, suddenly taking a seat by our dinner table in a friendly neighbourhood restaurant in Stockholm. He might of course have been waiting there for us to show up for days, but we choose to believe it was a coincidence, which is less embarrassing. He hinted at Ukraine winning and even made Schlagerboys like guitars, which now makes us think he has divine powers.

Worst we-really-will-do-anything-to-get-on-tv moment: Us cheering for the rubbish Austrian entry, as a camera man was preparing audience filming close by and we desperately needed to show our faces to our mums at home. We have no integrity left now, but then we didn’t have so much to begin with. And at least we also showed the Georgian flag to 200 million viewers.

Continue reading

What we noticed in the jury final

Cyprus Anna Vellkova
– Oh, just marching for peace in the Nagorno-Karabakh area. Those Armenian and Azeri contestants are two fine ladies, after all. Pic by Anna Vellkova/EBU

The jury final just ended and we have been watching it in the press center like proper journalists. Although the stuck up Swedes made us sit in the fan area like not so proper journalists, but you know, they did the same with Ralph Siegel.

The jury final is the second last dress rehearsal, but also the one that is broadcasted to the juries for them to allocate their points. Unless they choose to broadcast it on Periscope instead, that is. We have summed it up for you:

Belgium: Don’t worry if you, like us, have a tendency to show up a little late in the arena. This is easily missed.

Continue reading

Grand Final 2015: Voting Guide

“Oh, no! Now I really have to pee!” Good thing she has a giant roll of toilet paper under her frock then.

Hurrah, with bells on! The Grand Final is only hours away, and we’re ironing our Italian flags this very moment. Here’s our guide to help you cast your votes tonight, and go easy on the bubbles until Italy has had the chance to sing. Have a blast, y’all!

Continue reading