Our Verdict: Jury Final 2019

– We’re already three people here. The last thing we need is a camera man joining us (Photo by: Andres Putting)

The Grand Final is shaping up to be real corker of a show, chuck full of favorites in the first half, and come to think of it, the second half as well. Moreover, the national broadcaster here has been considerate enough to add a number of technical glitches and f*ck-ups which of course adds to the excitement.

Tonight is a big night where the jury will cast their votes, Italy will most likely once again do something to ruin their chances of winning, and we are of course in the Press Center to report about it. Buckle up!

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What we noticed in the third day of rehearsals

– Oh shoot, I forgot we don’t have a trampoline. Pic by Andres Putting/EBU

Today we want to start with awarding Egypt for giving us both Mahmood and, quite recently, a cease-fire for this year’s Eurovision. Great effort and dedication. They should be invited to have Australia’s spot next year. Anyway, we are ready to focus solely on life inside the arena. And here’s what we noticed during today’s rehearsals:

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Our 10 Favorites in the First Semi-Final 2018

Clearly someone forgot to read the list of prohibited items in the arena. (pic by Andres Putting/EBU)

Hurrah! The day of the first semi-final is finally here, and it’s time for us to pick our 10 favorites. This is by no means a proper prediction, it’s the ten songs we would like to see go through to the Grand Final. And the best of luck to those who are trying to predict anything tonight, it will be carnage. As usual you can read our reviews by clicking on the links below. Enjoy the show tonight! Continue reading

What we noticed in the jury final for first semi final

– Where are you when we need you, Tahir? We are in desperately need of a plan here. And not the least some cognac for the Norwegian blogger ladies. (Pic by Andres Putting/EBU)
Yay, we are just done with the jury final for the first semi final and the juries must be having a hard time deciding, because there were some great entries in here and all artists did a great job. We’re super excited about the semi final tomorrow, and of course about the result. This is what we noticed: Continue reading

Hottest Eurovision male, 2018 edition

It’s not easy getting attention as a Eurovision artist this year. After all, we are in the country where everyone from renovation workers to police officers to the average shop keeper look like they are replaced by super models, and we’ll more than gladly accept a body search by security guards. But we still have a few nice guys on our hands and we feel the responsibility for awarding them for that, of course.

The jury has worked long and hard, binging on Chardonnay and trying not to drown in any #metoo sinking holes along the way. But eventually we made our list. And here be the points of the real housewives of Norway: Continue reading

What we noticed in the rehearsals, day 2

In our Facebook support thing for our birthday, we collect money for a better telephoto lens for Andres Putting. We demand close-ups. Pic by: Andres Putting/EBU

Yay, another day of rehearsals is finished. We needed some time to recover after seeing Austria in leather, but can now quietly have a glass of port knowing no more artists ended up in the hospital today. Guess Lisbon got thos safety guidlines in place almost in time. Continue reading

Sink like a stone, Switzerland

Ok, peeps, we have a whopping 43 reviews to churn out over the next couple of months, so we better get on with it. Here’s Switzerland for you!

The Swiss struggle to get their s*it together on the Eurovision stage. It seems like they fail to understand that without the support of reliable bloc voting, they really need to stand out to get noticed. That they are in need something remarkable, like a woman with a beard, or a pixie girl in a LBD and cute mockney accent. And most of all they need a good song. Continue reading

Like Swiss clockwork

We’re staying true to our traditions and open this season’s reviews with Switzerland. Hurrah! And surprise, surprise, the Swiss are being equally predictable by sending off the usual mediocre semi-final filler for yet another year. At least they’re being as consistent as their own clockwork.

We were cautiously optimistic when we heard that Timebelle would compete in the national final again. We liked their first attempt at representing Switzerland two years ago and the quirky pop number Singing About Love would probably saved the Swiss from finishing dead last in Vienna. Unfortunately since then the group has changed direction, lost a couple of band members and gone all serious and gloomy on us. Gone are the playful happy go lucky girl next door, the chirpy accordion and the clunky guitars. It’s been replaced by a slicker, more mature sound, and Apollo is a rather repetitive and pathos filled mid-tempo ballad. Continue reading