Musical entertainment, stage decoration hobbies and the occasional dancing set aside, we all know what this contest is really about: The men. We have now reached the time of the contest when we need to sum up all our male acquaintances before they start disappearing again later tonight. And who did we like the most? Here are the results of the Norwegian jury.
1 point go to…Belarus
So, Uzari barely made our list, although he has got some great potential going for him. Main reason: Hair cut. We really need to talk about how to relate to curls without ending up looking like Lionel Richie, which shouldn’t be a goal for anybody. Until we’ve got that settled, Uzari can seek comfort in jumping back in line for the shop for fancy earrings together with the rest of Europe’s football players. Because that is where he truly belongs.
So, you think you’ve had it all? Enter Sweden. The country that is known for projecting a lot of fake men on stage:
Make no mistake, we love Sweden. They provide us with heaps of fit workers to pour our beers, they keep their shops open while ours are closed and they always give us something to bitch about here across the border. How very kind of them.
So. First semi final is no more than a week away and rehearsals are well on their way. Here are some of the most important facts we have picked up on this far:
Georgia is way funnier than first anticipated.How unbelievably cool is it to bring a parachute onstage? If you are to dance around high as a kite onstage, why not bring your kite, we say. And there is a slight possibility Israel’s lady might blow us all up, so security equipment is welcomed.
Speaking of Israel, we have an announcement to make: Three pair of pants have been found lurking around the airport looking for their owners. Mei and choir chicks can report to the information desk in order to get fully dressed for next week.
All righty then! While most of our fellow Norwegians have spent the day suffocating in too tight bunads, stuffing their face with ice cream and hotdogs, we have been in Malmø Arena to catch the first dress rehearsal before the Grand Final. How very exiting. Squeal!
We can promise you a wicked show, the Swedes certainly know their stuff and you can really tell they have been gagging to transfer Melodifestivalen to a pan European format.
Ok, then, that’s all the 20 finalists coming out of the semi-finals settled. Now it’s time to focus fully on the Grand Final and take a look at those who simply skips the hassle of qualifying, the Big 5 and the host country. You’ll find entries scattered along the scale from bloody awful to absolutely brilliant! This completes this years’ reviews:
You know those times when you think you have scored a perfectly sweet guy to bring home on a Saturday night and he ends up climaxing before you even show him your tits? That’s kind of what happens with Sweden’s boytoy Robin Stjernberg.
So, Saturday it was finally time for the Eurovision stars to shine and bedazzle us on the red carpet before the official opening party! We heard rumors the party wasn’t that great, so we’re not sorry one bit we weren’t there. We never show up at parties without finger food anyways. But at least an EBU photographer caught the action through his lens and and shared his pics with everyone on the official Eurovision website. As a reward someone should give this guy an introductory course in how to capture the glamour of celebs strolling up the red carpet. Maybe next year he’ll give us something decent to work with. Here are some highlights and (a lot of) lowpoints for you! We’ll do the comments in alphabetical order. It should take you about 4 hours to read through this post. (Oh, and click on the pics to get a bigger image.)
So, there is Loreen and Sweden. The song a lot of people like out of proportions this year. And that makes the ones that don’t wonder what’s wrong with them. What do we think? Ah, if you only knew. And if only we did. Let’s play pros and cons again: