Yay, we are at the press center watching the jury final before tomorrow’s Grand Final. This is, as many of you know, the dress rehearsal with a live audience upon which all the juries votes for tomorrow are based, so it matters a lot how the artists are doing at this very moment. Fuckups have been known to happen before and we have been known to report them. This is what we noticed: Continue reading
We got 7 out of 10 of our favorites through to the Grand Final. Let’s see if we can beat that tonight! We had a big row at Hard Rock Cafe last night to settle on a list, the fanboys next to us looked a little scared. Turns out we have changed our minds about a few since we wrote the reviews, click on the links see which ones. Continue reading
As the actual jury final tonight interrupts with our busy party schedule we watched the second dress rehearsal from the arena. Here’s what we noticed!
Norway: The fact that Alex is currently third in the press center poll where everybody hates his song with passion tells us that he’s in with a pretty good shot at winning the whole shebang. Continue reading
Betcha the Swedish head of delegation has had a nice and quiet weekend with this guy:
Two things we are programmed not to like in GEE: Sweden and sleazy brats. Or even worse: A combination of the two:
Safe to say, though, we seem to have hit syntax error. Because we ABSOLUTELY LOVE ROBIN.
With all the Nordic countries relegated in the semi finals we can at least take comfort in Sweden being directly qualified as the host country. Now we know who to send all those friendly neighbor votes to! Then we have the Big 5 countries that can’t be bothered to actually go the trouble of qualifying so they pop up rather unexpectedly in the Grand Final. At the very least a couple of them sent a cracking tune this year! Here are our reviews, nicely lined up for you:
Finally. It’s the one time of year when we get to focus on the most important thing in our life: Who is the best-looking bloke in Eurovision?
The jury had a hard time this year. There were a lot of great applications, and many argued their case well, which once again reminded us what a great year 2016 is for fabulousness. In the end we just had to share a bottle of pinot and get down to business. The jury has taken the following criteria into consideration: looks, charm, style, shaggability, social skills, likelihood of showing up in Euroclub and the ability to wear clothes while being surrounded by highly dangerous animals. Other than that, we have followed the strict EBU guidelines, of course, allowing gay flags, but not at all relating to any kind of politics. Everybody knows those politicians are boring anyway.
Now, we don’t admit our faults and shortcomings all too often in here, but here’s an exception: We just don’t know how to praise the Swedish entries. We lack experience in that field altogether. But we’ll try anyway. For the sake of Frans:
Yeah, yeah, we know, it’s been TWO whole days since the Eurovision party in London. But like certain Cypriots we needed a while to unwind. And first things first, we have been super busy trying to translate all the stories Polish media keep writing about us. It sure is awesome to be noticed in a country so huge it would consider our proud capital a little farm village.
Didn’t forget our duties, though. Here are the awards of the GEE jury:
Funkiest woman onstage: Bulgaria’s Poli Genova. What a fabulous gal she is! We are shaving off half our hair and joining her fan club any minute now.
Best performance: France’s Amir. Singing Golden boy. Can we please get that in EuroClub too, hon? Seven a day keeps the blues away – and the GEE girls your biggest fans for life.
Tonight is a big one coming up for us as Norway is on, and no less than FIVE of the guys on our hotlist. We recommend a bottle of Chardonnay, Valium and an oxygen mask within reach. If all goes well and we don’t pass out with overexcitement before the Czech Republic sings, we hope we will be able to celebrate the following ten countries going through to the Grand Final (click on the links to read our review):