What we noticed in the jury final for the grand final 2018

We hate to be stating the obvious, but you are finished. Don’t you know vampires should stay away from the sun? (pic by Thomas Hanses/EBU)

Yay, we are at the press center watching the jury final before tomorrow’s Grand Final. This is, as many of you know, the dress rehearsal with a live audience upon which all the juries votes for tomorrow are based, so it matters a lot how the artists are doing at this very moment. Fuckups have been known to happen before and we have been known to report them. This is what we noticed: Continue reading

Our 10 favorites in the second semi-final 2018

Could this be the new Godess of Eurovision? (Photo by: Andres Putting/EBU)

We got 7 out of 10 of our favorites through to the Grand Final. Let’s see if we can beat that tonight! We had a big row at Hard Rock Cafe last night to settle on a list, the fanboys next to us looked a little scared. Turns out we have changed our minds about a few since we wrote the reviews, click on the links see which ones. Continue reading

What we noticed in the dress rehearsal for the second semi-final

As the actual jury final tonight interrupts with our busy party schedule we watched the second dress rehearsal from the arena. Here’s what we noticed!

– Lord Jon Ola Sand, give me the votes to win again! (Photo by: Andres Putting/EBU)

Norway: The fact that Alex is currently third in the press center poll where everybody hates his song with passion tells us that he’s in with a pretty good shot at winning the whole shebang. Continue reading

Serbia in the left corner

All right, it’s time to take a closer look at the other Balkan ballad in the second semi-final. We may have accidentally given you half our review of Serbia’s Nova Deca when raving on about Montenegro the other day, but this little gem is turning out to be the gift that keeps on giving, so please bear with us and our ramblings. It’s all there really, crammed into three minutes. From the excessively long song intro and the proper use of traditional instruments to gorgeous women with pouty lips and lots of purposeful arm waving. The lyrics are of course being kept in the original language, and never mind the lyrics by the way, because chanting nananas and sorrowful wailing makes up most of the singing anyway. Continue reading

Shallow Serbia

All right, why not continue our Tour de Balkan and have a closer look at another smashingly beautiful female vocalist. Meet Tijana Bogićević!

We immediately turn a little suspicious towards women in their mid-thirties gazing at us through a thick sepia filter with a sultry bedroom look. And struggle to understand the need to perform in a bathing suit, unless you’re competing in an Aquatics Championship. But never mind, we are probably not in the target group. Continue reading

First impressions from the first dress rehearsal of the second semi final

ukraine ebu andres putting
– No, no, no, Andres Putting, don’t come any closer! Pic by EBU/Andres Putting

Yay, we remembered there were 18 more songs to go and just saw the first dress rehearsal for the second semi final. It is also brewing up to be a great show, of course. The undisputable highlight being our favourite Schlagerboys appearing on the big screen, driving around in a taxi, which we’ve heard is shady business in Stockholm. This is what else to expect:

01 Latvia Justs Heartbeat

Has shown a vast selection of leather jackets, so it is a bit disappointing that he chose the black one for the stage. Maybe he should borrow Poland’s stylist? Other than that, douze points for effort. Will be in the run for best performance in the final together with Hungary’s Freddie.

02 Poland Michał Szpak Color Of Your Life

After the Bosnia & Herzegovina disaster in the first semi final, we are happy there is at least half a cello left for Poland. Michal wants people to sing along, and we can now reveal why you know that melody so easily: it echoes the riff of “I will survive”, which is a message we keep repeating to ourselves every morning these days. Clever little thing that Captain Jack Sparrow. Continue reading

Do we want another statement song from Serbia?

Every year there are bound to be a few statement songs and in Stockholm, Serbia will provide one of those. As long as it’s not Russia with yet another peace anthem, which in any case is always intolerable, we’re usually cautiously overbearing. As shown by Romania last year it can be quite clever to use the opportunity to reach a potential audience of some 130 million people to transmit a message of real concern and importance.

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OMG! The first semi-final is today!

– Here’s a sneak peak of Mr. Putin’s expansion plans. Go ahead and vote for us, suckers!

Sadly you won’t find your favorite Eurovision bloggers reporting live from the press center and from premier VIP seating inside the arena this year. Due to a series of unforeseen circumstances, which we won’t bore you with the details. But we promise to be back on location next year when it’s Italy’s turn to host Eurovision again!

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Serbia is back with a banger

And cue this year’s big disco stomper and hands in the air gay anthem.

It’s not exactly a secret that a certain part of the Eurovision fanbase loves a big girl in a red dress, with the lung capacity to blow the roof off and pumping beats to go with it. Throw in a good portion of neatly choreographed strutting about on stage, of course carefully coordinated with the backing singers, excessive finger pointing/fist pumping in the air, uplifting, but totally trite lyrics, a busy colorful led screen backdrop and we reckon it’s only the kitchen sink missing. It’s predictable and safe and it’s super appropriate for obtaining long-lasting Eurovision fame.

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