Sadly you won’t find your favorite Eurovision bloggers reporting live from the press center and from premier VIP seating inside the arena this year. Due to a series of unforeseen circumstances, which we won’t bore you with the details. But we promise to be back on location next year when it’s Italy’s turn to host Eurovision again!
Close your eyes. Imagine a blond angel appearing in front of you with promises of peace, love, understanding and free speech. Now where would she come from? Nowhere but Russia!
In Russia they pray for peace and healing, of course. Same procedure as every other year. This country boasts such proud traditions as creators of stability and democracy in Europe and in the world, after all. It’s the land of the thousand oligarks. Solidly founded on the people’s much appreciated struggle. The land of the well functioning free press. Where everyone is allowed their own opinion without consequences, where children are taught about the importance of regime criticism before they can speak and where human rights are at the very chore of anything the government decides.
Yay, the grand final is rapidly approaching in Copenhagen! We just watched the jury final, and here’s a heads up on what to expect:
1.Ukraine: Tick-Tock sung by Mariya Yaremchuk
Struggles to impress us with a man in a hamster wheel. That’s nothing but a nice try when Greece has THREE men on a TRAMPOLINE.
2.Belarus: Cheesecake sung by Teo
Thank God the final at least has one song about cakes. Claims to not be Patrick Swayze, which is great as he never would be able to lift us anyway.
So. First semi final is no more than a week away and rehearsals are well on their way. Here are some of the most important facts we have picked up on this far:
- Georgia is way funnier than first anticipated.How unbelievably cool is it to bring a parachute onstage? If you are to dance around high as a kite onstage, why not bring your kite, we say. And there is a slight possibility Israel’s lady might blow us all up, so security equipment is welcomed.
- Speaking of Israel, we have an announcement to make: Three pair of pants have been found lurking around the airport looking for their owners. Mei and choir chicks can report to the information desk in order to get fully dressed for next week.
There’s nothing worse than the total agony of a country that knows so well what to do, but fails to do it. Meet the Tolmachevy Twins:
It’s already been 5 years since Russia’s first win in ESC and by the look of it, the Russians are starting to get serious about winning again. Luckily there was a certain Swede to save us from the horrific Babushkas last year, and perhaps it was to the Russians’ own surprise they came so close to winning. Regardless, they did not take any chances with hosting a national final this year and went for the internally selected Dina Garipova and fed her a Swedish made monster ballad.
So where to begin? Continue reading
This happens ever so often (or in our opinion way too often) in Eurovision: A bunch of weirdos disguised as folk musicians show up and sprinkle their fairy dust from last century. They’re often old enough to have founded a cheese or something and dressed in whatever they managed to steal from the British museum who in turn stole it from their mother who never used it in the first place.
So, you thought we forgot about the men this year? Oh no, not us. We have been following them for quite some time now. And even though there’s no equal to our long lost love, Marcin Mrozínski (is there ever?), there’s a couple of highlights in the goodiebag this year as well. Here are the votes of the GEE jury:
1 point go to Azerbaijan’s Eldar Chris Martin Qasimov
Barely made the list, but as cute as he is, we’re kinda glad he did. We enjoy his style and he does have the most Chris Martinest of voices. And after all we do love Chris Martin. So guess there’s your point, Eldar.
You know when you hear one of those Eurovision songs and you figure it consists of every single song you’ve ever heard before except maybe your national anthem? Yup, then you’ve heard Russia’s entry this year as well:
Really there should have been a lot of reasons not to like Russia back in 2003. There is techno rhythm and screaming and a keyboardist on speed. It’s just that from the first few seconds when TaTu screams Hey! we’re already kinda charmed: