The Grand Final is shaping up to be real corker of a show, chuck full of favorites in the first half, and come to think of it, the second half as well. Moreover, the national broadcaster here has been considerate enough to add a number of technical glitches and f*ck-ups which of course adds to the excitement.
Tonight is a big night where the jury will cast their votes, Italy will most likely once again do something to ruin their chances of winning, and we are of course in the Press Center to report about it. Buckle up!
So we just finished one semi final and then it turns out there’s another one? This Eurovision thing truly is the gift that keeps on giving. As usual the jury final later tonight interrupts our party schedule so we watched the first dress rehearsal of the second final and this is our verdict.
Finally. After hours of discussion, after shedding blood and tears, after many a chardonnay bottle and painful rehearsals, after shutting down all the whining from our gay friends with bad taste, we have reached a verdict in Eurovision’s most significant competition: Who is the hottest male artist of 2019?
It was bound to happen, really. Russia has been teasing the fans for months with stories of our hero Sergey Lazarev’s participation in Eurovision. Sergey is probably the only man in the world who can sing schlager while climbing around on brightly lit IKEA furniture and still look amazing. We all feel he was robbed the first time around with his catchy show, swirling around in space.:
We got 7 out of 10 of our favorites through to the Grand Final. Let’s see if we can beat that tonight! We had a big row at Hard Rock Cafe last night to settle on a list, the fanboys next to us looked a little scared. Turns out we have changed our minds about a few since we wrote the reviews, click on the links see which ones. Continue reading
As the actual jury final tonight interrupts with our busy party schedule we watched the second dress rehearsal from the arena. Here’s what we noticed!
Norway: The fact that Alex is currently third in the press center poll where everybody hates his song with passion tells us that he’s in with a pretty good shot at winning the whole shebang. Continue reading
Yay, we finally got Alexander Rybak onstage and the rest of the world caught up with our winning feeling! That guy is so fabulous we had to call our largest tabloid immediately and tell them a few words of truth. But we also noticed a few other things, of course: Continue reading
She’s back again. And there’s not a Portuguese official in sight to stop her:
Here’s the thing: We get that it is hard to be Russian sometimes. You have your very impressive cultural legacy and you have all these amazing artists willing to give stellar performances in Eurovision and the only thing people care about is that you also have a president. Who decides wicked things you don’t necessarily agree on and certainly do not promote in your entry. Never mind that you almost won a dozen of times and the fact that you didn’t probably is due to other people also being great. In Putin town winning is the only option. If winning doesn’t happen, there must be something rotten in the state of Eurovision.
Word was out earlier this month: Turns out Russian artist Julia Samoylova previously rolled her wheel chair into Crimea not only once, but several times.Totally not acceptable. And so the riots began. People posted online comments. Jon Ola Sand blabbered away about his political hangovers in the press like any regular American. The interest organization for the disabled supporters of the Russian annexation of Crimea loaded their kalashni…sorry, Facebook walls. And the Ukrainian bossypants drew up their paperwork, as if they never have done anything else in their life – which they probably haven’t, come to think of it.
Bottom line: Ukraine does not heartily welcome Julia in sunny Kyiv this spring. Here in GEE headquarters we fully support that. Hereby presenting 10 reasons why:
Yay, we just attended the first dress rehearsal for the first semi-final and it is shaping up to be a fabulous show. Here’s our first impressions for you:
01 Finland Sandhja Sing It Away
We keep mixing this up with the Spanish song. Which is not a good sign in our book. Backing singers are sweeping the floor with their microphone stands. Hope they get paid by SVT.
02 Greece Argo Utopian Land
Those who think this won’t qualify are seriously deluded. Sporting steaming hot bloke who rips his shirt off towards the end. Opa!
03 Moldova Lidia Isac Falling Stars
We know we are entering into our final week psychosis when we look at each other in nodding approval for the Moldovan entry. If we can’t have Laika the lonely dog in space in Eurovision, at least we can have a hot cosmonaut doing a summersault on stage.
04 Hungary Freddie Pioneer
Stands on what appears to be a perfectly marbled entrecote, which is pretty great because we love a good steak! He’s quite beefy too, come to think of it. We’ll take him medium rare, thank you. Yum!