What we noticed in the jury final for the grand final 2018

We hate to be stating the obvious, but you are finished. Don’t you know vampires should stay away from the sun? (pic by Thomas Hanses/EBU)

Yay, we are at the press center watching the jury final before tomorrow’s Grand Final. This is, as many of you know, the dress rehearsal with a live audience upon which all the juries votes for tomorrow are based, so it matters a lot how the artists are doing at this very moment. Fuckups have been known to happen before and we have been known to report them. This is what we noticed: Continue reading

The Big 5 + Portugal Reviews 2018

– Hey, Ermal, the GEE ladies are to the left. (Photo by: Andres Putting/EBU)

The Big 5 are looking quite strong this year, well except from the UK and Spain obviously. Quite unexpectedly we do not think that neither Spain nor Germany will finish last this year, so it’s awfully nice of the UK to take over. Here’s our Big 5 and host country’s reviews nicely lined up for you: Continue reading

Final remarks after the final

It was a pity Andres Putting wasn’t around to take our picture, but we did our best in iPhone blue.
Time to face the facts: Eurovision season is over. We have again started wearing cotton and going to sleep before midnight, there is not a cheesy Georgian bread in sight and no journalist has contacted us for a comment all day. All that is left are tons of good memories and our gelnails, that apparently never go away. Should have googled this before entering that nail salon in Kyiv, but at least pink and turquoise is in fashion.

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Some thoughts before the grand final

When we discovered the mask didn’t work, we decided to make use of the second largest Norwegian symbol: Our flag. Pic by Thomas Hanses/EBU

Hooray, it’s the national day of all fans: The day of the Eurovision final! As always it is a day of conflicted emotions, as it is also the last day of two weeks of fabulous celebration and partying with amazing artists and fans from all over Europe and Australia. And we have to leave the fantastic city of Kyiv tomorrow, which will be like leaving the newfound love of our lives. Also, we think the hunky guys at the fabulous Druzi café will miss us coming in every morning to cure our carefully crafted hangover with two eggs and an avocado smoothie and more black coffee than any Ukrainian has ever been able to order in one day.

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Hurrah! Second semi-final coming up!

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Oh, please! Get a room!

Tonight is a big one coming up for us as Norway is on, and no less than FIVE of the guys on our hotlist. We recommend a bottle of Chardonnay, Valium and an oxygen mask within reach. If all goes well and we don’t pass out with overexcitement before the Czech Republic sings, we hope we will be able to celebrate the following ten countries going through to the Grand Final (click on the links to read our review):

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Portugal gone astray

Portugal has been one of the most consistently predictable countries in ESC over the years. They usually show up with an up-tempo latino pop stomper performed by a scantly clad bombshell who can’t sing, or a sad and dreary fado, mournfully performed by a prudishly clad bombshell singing in perfect pitch. And end up scoring terribly bad, since the rest of Europe can’t make head or tail of neither. Continue reading

First rehearsals. Impressions and fun facts

In case of emergency, please unfold the parachute. Photo: Andres Putting (EBU)
In case of emergency, please unfold your own parachute first, then help your children. Photo: Andres Putting (EBU)

So. First semi final is no more than a week away and rehearsals are well on their way. Here are some of the most important facts we have picked up on this far:

  • Georgia is way funnier than first anticipated.How unbelievably cool is it to bring a parachute onstage? If you are to dance around high as a kite onstage, why not bring your kite, we say. And there is a slight possibility Israel’s lady might blow us all up, so security equipment is welcomed.
  • Speaking of Israel, we have an announcement to make: Three pair of pants have been found lurking around the airport looking for their owners. Mei and choir chicks can report to the information desk in order to get fully dressed for next week.

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Europe paging Portugal

The Eurovision world is thrilled to have Portugal back after a couple of years of absence. We don’t really get why as they rarely have anything to offer but a rather middle of the road entry that very few north of the Iberian peninsula understand nor take a particular liking to. We suppose it has to do with the urge every congregation has to herd the bewildered safely back into the flock. Continue reading