Montenegro is treating us to a disco stomper about space travel this year. And even though we must admit that we would have preferred a Balkan ballad, we approve.
Yay, we just attended the first dress rehearsal for the first semi-final and it is shaping up to be a fabulous show. Here’s our first impressions for you:
01 Finland Sandhja Sing It Away
We keep mixing this up with the Spanish song. Which is not a good sign in our book. Backing singers are sweeping the floor with their microphone stands. Hope they get paid by SVT.
02 Greece Argo Utopian Land
Those who think this won’t qualify are seriously deluded. Sporting steaming hot bloke who rips his shirt off towards the end. Opa!
03 Moldova Lidia Isac Falling Stars
We know we are entering into our final week psychosis when we look at each other in nodding approval for the Moldovan entry. If we can’t have Laika the lonely dog in space in Eurovision, at least we can have a hot cosmonaut doing a summersault on stage.
04 Hungary Freddie Pioneer
Stands on what appears to be a perfectly marbled entrecote, which is pretty great because we love a good steak! He’s quite beefy too, come to think of it. We’ll take him medium rare, thank you. Yum!
Finally. It’s the one time of year when we get to focus on the most important thing in our life: Who is the best-looking bloke in Eurovision?
The jury had a hard time this year. There were a lot of great applications, and many argued their case well, which once again reminded us what a great year 2016 is for fabulousness. In the end we just had to share a bottle of pinot and get down to business. The jury has taken the following criteria into consideration: looks, charm, style, shaggability, social skills, likelihood of showing up in Euroclub and the ability to wear clothes while being surrounded by highly dangerous animals. Other than that, we have followed the strict EBU guidelines, of course, allowing gay flags, but not at all relating to any kind of politics. Everybody knows those politicians are boring anyway.
Yay, it is finally time for Eurovision in concert! All hearts be merry. This is the time when artists gather in the city of Amsterdam to show what they are capable of and, more importantly, what they are not capable of in Stockholm in May.
We sadly have to devote our weekend to children’s football and family entertaining, which sounds like worst case of priorities gone bad, but probably awards us a few very needed karma points for when we hop on the speedy train to Stockholm in May to make the best possible use of our newly acquired accreditation. But we’ll be following the Internet from our very smart phones 24-7, of course.
Here’s what we’ll be looking for:
This Eurovision season seems to be a goldmine for those of us enjoying decent rock music. Check out this little gem from Montenegro:
As entries have been continuously confirmed for Stockholm, great rock tunes have popped up all over Europe, really. Especially in the more eastern countries, which we all know are way ahead of the rest of us. And when even Thomas G:Son drew a Cypriote rock band out of his magic hat, we just had to believe there’s a new loud in town. Mind you, that is quite ok with us.
Tonight is a big one coming up for us as Norway is on, and no less than FIVE of the guys on our hotlist. We recommend a bottle of Chardonnay, Valium and an oxygen mask within reach. If all goes well and we don’t pass out with overexcitement before the Czech Republic sings, we hope we will be able to celebrate the following ten countries going through to the Grand Final (click on the links to read our review):
Ok, we admit not to have been the keenest supporters of Balkan ballads on this blog. However, after having watched BBC’s cut-and-dried 60th anniversary show the other night we have come to the realization that Eurovision without it is pretty much worthless. The anniversary show is perhaps worth a separate blog post, but please bear with us when we use this opportunity to point out just how wrong it was to leave out the history defining winner Molitva and Lane Moje. It’s beyond us, after all this competition is about so much more than just Scandinavian schlagers, Johnny Logan and a couple of gender benders.
Yay, the grand final is rapidly approaching in Copenhagen! We just watched the jury final, and here’s a heads up on what to expect:
1.Ukraine: Tick-Tock sung by Mariya Yaremchuk
Struggles to impress us with a man in a hamster wheel. That’s nothing but a nice try when Greece has THREE men on a TRAMPOLINE.
2.Belarus: Cheesecake sung by Teo
Thank God the final at least has one song about cakes. Claims to not be Patrick Swayze, which is great as he never would be able to lift us anyway.
So. First semi final is no more than a week away and rehearsals are well on their way. Here are some of the most important facts we have picked up on this far:
- Georgia is way funnier than first anticipated.How unbelievably cool is it to bring a parachute onstage? If you are to dance around high as a kite onstage, why not bring your kite, we say. And there is a slight possibility Israel’s lady might blow us all up, so security equipment is welcomed.
- Speaking of Israel, we have an announcement to make: Three pair of pants have been found lurking around the airport looking for their owners. Mei and choir chicks can report to the information desk in order to get fully dressed for next week.
Just as Montenegro was turning into one of our favorite countries in Eurovision, for being bold and bonkers, they go ahead and turn all Balkan ballad on us. Uncongratulations.