OMG! The first semi-final is today!

– Here’s a sneak peak of Mr. Putin’s expansion plans. Go ahead and vote for us, suckers!

Sadly you won’t find your favorite Eurovision bloggers reporting live from the press center and from premier VIP seating inside the arena this year. Due to a series of unforeseen circumstances, which we won’t bore you with the details. But we promise to be back on location next year when it’s Italy’s turn to host Eurovision again!

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Moldova trippin’ over

Ah, bless! Throughout a decade of Eurovision participations the Moldovans never fail to deliver something, well, unusual. This year they have been gracious enough to facilitate the participation of the absent country Ukraine, by selecting Eduard Romanyuta and his 90s throwback electropop stomper I Want Your Love.

Eduard has attempted to represent his home country no less than three times without success, which is not bad for a kid looking like he’s barely out of high school, while at the same time he has apparently been winning (?) two master degrees and started to work on his PhD thesis on international competition of tax systems and tax policy of Ukraine in the context of Euro integration. Pew, as a friendly piece of advice we recommend everyone to refrain from reading as many badly written and dubious Wikipedia articles as we are forced to plough through in lack of other credible sources.

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First rehearsals. Impressions and fun facts

In case of emergency, please unfold the parachute. Photo: Andres Putting (EBU)
In case of emergency, please unfold your own parachute first, then help your children. Photo: Andres Putting (EBU)

So. First semi final is no more than a week away and rehearsals are well on their way. Here are some of the most important facts we have picked up on this far:

  • Georgia is way funnier than first anticipated.How unbelievably cool is it to bring a parachute onstage? If you are to dance around high as a kite onstage, why not bring your kite, we say. And there is a slight possibility Israel’s lady might blow us all up, so security equipment is welcomed.
  • Speaking of Israel, we have an announcement to make: Three pair of pants have been found lurking around the airport looking for their owners. Mei and choir chicks can report to the information desk in order to get fully dressed for next week.

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Wild child Moldova’s wild soul

Ever since their debut almost a decade ago, Moldova has been a bit of a wild child, spicing up Eurovision with their mere presence. Not being particularly bothered with what will work and please the voters across Europe, they’ve ended up being notoriously unpredictable and actually fairly successful. We have gotten used to relying on the Moldovans to satisfy our craving for brassy party like there’s no tomorrow music, and quite frankly we feel a bit jilted when they show up with a drab ballad for the second year in a row.

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Try harder next year, Moldova

What do you get when you mix a former ESC participant with Azerbaijan’s stage gimmick from last year and add an enormous amount of hair styling products? Let us present Moldova:

Moldova is actually one of our absolute favorite countries in ESC. We love them for being whacky and tacky, for daring to give us something different and for understanding the true essence of entertaining the masses. Continue reading

Fug or Fab, Eurovision edition!

So, Saturday it was finally time for the Eurovision stars to shine and bedazzle us on the red carpet before the official opening party! We heard rumors the party wasn’t that great, so we’re not sorry one bit we weren’t there. We never show up at parties without finger food anyways. But at least an EBU photographer caught the action through his lens and and shared his pics with everyone on the official Eurovision website. As a reward someone should give this guy an introductory course in how to capture the glamour of celebs strolling up the red carpet. Maybe next year he’ll give us something decent to work with. Here are some highlights and (a lot of) lowpoints for you! We’ll do the comments in alphabetical order. It should take you about 4 hours to read through this post. (Oh, and click on the pics to get a bigger image.)

Not happy about Eurovision being held in Baku? Blame these two! But Ell&Nikki sure set the standard for looking swell on the red carpet. Low key, yet stylish and trendy. And Nikki doesn’t look like Ell’s mum at all. Definitely a Fab from the GEE jury.

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True love for Moldova

Gather a group of hunky Eastern European men. Let them enjoy themselves with a bunch of brass, a fabulous tune and boots even Karl Lagerfeld would covet. Win GEE girls’ heart.

Ever so often those tiny miracles happen in Eurovision wonderland. People show up who are actually happy to be there. They even look like they’re having the time of their life. They look pretty great in fact. They can sing. They can play. They can dress. They can move. AND they have a song to match it all. Moldova has been getting pretty close to that every year, but this one’s bulls eye. Thank you, God, and we promise to say grace from now on. Continue reading

Where is Granny?

Moldova in ESC reminds us of the odd cousin you’ll find in every family. You know, the sort who tends to blurt out something inappropriate about your aunt’s weight during a family get-together or shows up at a wedding completely overdressed and in general doesn’t give a tosser about what people might think or say about him. He tends to create a lot of embarrassing situations and you wouldn’t be caught dead defending him, but secretly you love and admire him for being crazy and for having the courage to do whatever he pleases and for not succumbing to what your narrow minded family members might see as fit and appropriate behavior. In your heart, he’s a hero!

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Barbara Dex Award; Moldova and Russia

There are plenty of guys deserving a decent bashing in this year’s ESC as well! Let’s start with Moldova. And forget about the female tin foil cupcake. We didn’t exactly expect Chişinău to be the fashion capitol of Europe, but to get reacquainted with the vest our old uncle John donated to aid Romanian orphans years ago, we did not see that one coming. We suppose it found its way to an overpriced ultra hip vintage shop in the above mentioned capitol somehow. As mentioned earlier, we praise Moldova for giving us valuable and hilarious contributions when it comes to costumes and props on stage, so it’s nice to see that this tradition is being kept alive.

moldova1
There is just so much material here, starting with the bloke in the front. Blimey…

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Most embarrassing ESC moments

This year it was all about sharing the moment. Join us for a quick recap on the most embarrassing moments we experienced during ESC. We had moments where we cringed in embarrassment and other moments when we almost cracked our hips as we fell on the floor laughing our heads off.

Norway running out of champagne
GEE had a fab time at the Official Opening Reception in Oslo City Hall. Who wouldn’t love to stroll up the pink carpet, squeezed in among the delegations from Azerbaijan, Poland and Belarus? It was however quite embarrassing to find out that Mayor Fabian Stang and his crew ran out of pink champagne nearly one hour before the party was supposed to be over. Snappy head waiters shouting at their assistants as well as at the prominent guests who were trying to elbow their way to catch the last drops didn’t make it any better. GEE had to execute major damage control by telling international guests that this is what happens when you offer Norwegians free booze. Speaking of, we do however suspect that the Butterflies from Belarus were also partly to blame for this situation… Continue reading