Some thoughts before the grand final

When we discovered the mask didn’t work, we decided to make use of the second largest Norwegian symbol: Our flag. Pic by Thomas Hanses/EBU

Hooray, it’s the national day of all fans: The day of the Eurovision final! As always it is a day of conflicted emotions, as it is also the last day of two weeks of fabulous celebration and partying with amazing artists and fans from all over Europe and Australia. And we have to leave the fantastic city of Kyiv tomorrow, which will be like leaving the newfound love of our lives. Also, we think the hunky guys at the fabulous Druzi café will miss us coming in every morning to cure our carefully crafted hangover with two eggs and an avocado smoothie and more black coffee than any Ukrainian has ever been able to order in one day.

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First impressions from the first dress rehearsal of the first semi-final

Yay, we just attended the first dress rehearsal for the first semi-final and it is shaping up to be a fabulous show. Here’s our first impressions for you:

01 Finland Sandhja Sing It Away

We keep mixing this up with the Spanish song. Which is not a good sign in our book. Backing singers are sweeping the floor with their microphone stands. Hope they get paid by SVT.

02 Greece Argo Utopian Land

Those who think this won’t qualify are seriously deluded. Sporting steaming hot bloke who rips his shirt off towards the end. Opa!

03 Moldova Lidia Isac Falling Stars

We know we are entering into our final week psychosis when we look at each other in nodding approval for the Moldovan entry. If we can’t have Laika the lonely dog in space in Eurovision, at least we can have a hot cosmonaut doing a summersault on stage.

04 Hungary Freddie Pioneer

Stands on what appears to be a perfectly marbled entrecote, which is pretty great because we love a good steak! He’s quite beefy too, come to think of it. We’ll take him medium rare, thank you. Yum!

hungary first dress rehearsal ebu andres putting
Beefy Pic by Andres Putting/EBU
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Eurovision in Concert – how did it go?

Skjermbilde 2016-04-10 kl. 18.02.19
We ask for the deepest silence possible. We have a golden leather jacket on stage

So, in true Norwegian style we did not show up in Amsterdam. We were really sad to not experience all the fabulousness that went on in Melkweg, but lucky to have good friends like Schlagerboys and ESCKAZ that shared so perfectly we almost felt like we were there anyway. A big thank you to them and here are our high- and not-so-highlights of the evening:

Most underrated performance by others:

Montenegro. We are seriously impressed that Highway even bothered showing up, knowing the hardcore fans do not exactly favour their music style and can be less than welcoming. But they just have to live with that for a while longer, because with voices like theirs, they are bound to please quite a few voters. And us, which is most important, of course. Also, you have to love a band with two vocalists.

Most surprising performance:

Greta from Iceland, starting off with a beautiful violin solo and following up with a great crowdpleaser of a schlager. Good thing Iceland has a few millions reserved for hosting an international final in a bank account in Panama.

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Moldovan schlager

We think we all can agree on that sending that Ukrainian bloke to Vienna wasn’t the smartest move the Moldovans have made during the course of their short, but sweet Eurovision tenure. And they did indeed pay the price for the mistake as they crash landed in the semi-final. But why make another mistake the following year?

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OMG! The first semi-final is today!

– Here’s a sneak peak of Mr. Putin’s expansion plans. Go ahead and vote for us, suckers!

Sadly you won’t find your favorite Eurovision bloggers reporting live from the press center and from premier VIP seating inside the arena this year. Due to a series of unforeseen circumstances, which we won’t bore you with the details. But we promise to be back on location next year when it’s Italy’s turn to host Eurovision again!

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Moldova trippin’ over

Ah, bless! Throughout a decade of Eurovision participations the Moldovans never fail to deliver something, well, unusual. This year they have been gracious enough to facilitate the participation of the absent country Ukraine, by selecting Eduard Romanyuta and his 90s throwback electropop stomper I Want Your Love.

Eduard has attempted to represent his home country no less than three times without success, which is not bad for a kid looking like he’s barely out of high school, while at the same time he has apparently been winning (?) two master degrees and started to work on his PhD thesis on international competition of tax systems and tax policy of Ukraine in the context of Euro integration. Pew, as a friendly piece of advice we recommend everyone to refrain from reading as many badly written and dubious Wikipedia articles as we are forced to plough through in lack of other credible sources.

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First rehearsals. Impressions and fun facts

In case of emergency, please unfold the parachute. Photo: Andres Putting (EBU)
In case of emergency, please unfold your own parachute first, then help your children. Photo: Andres Putting (EBU)

So. First semi final is no more than a week away and rehearsals are well on their way. Here are some of the most important facts we have picked up on this far:

  • Georgia is way funnier than first anticipated.How unbelievably cool is it to bring a parachute onstage? If you are to dance around high as a kite onstage, why not bring your kite, we say. And there is a slight possibility Israel’s lady might blow us all up, so security equipment is welcomed.
  • Speaking of Israel, we have an announcement to make: Three pair of pants have been found lurking around the airport looking for their owners. Mei and choir chicks can report to the information desk in order to get fully dressed for next week.

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Wild child Moldova’s wild soul

Ever since their debut almost a decade ago, Moldova has been a bit of a wild child, spicing up Eurovision with their mere presence. Not being particularly bothered with what will work and please the voters across Europe, they’ve ended up being notoriously unpredictable and actually fairly successful. We have gotten used to relying on the Moldovans to satisfy our craving for brassy party like there’s no tomorrow music, and quite frankly we feel a bit jilted when they show up with a drab ballad for the second year in a row.

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Try harder next year, Moldova

What do you get when you mix a former ESC participant with Azerbaijan’s stage gimmick from last year and add an enormous amount of hair styling products? Let us present Moldova:

Moldova is actually one of our absolute favorite countries in ESC. We love them for being whacky and tacky, for daring to give us something different and for understanding the true essence of entertaining the masses. Continue reading