We have paid close attention to the Maltese in Eurovision the past couple of years. We’re not sure what actually spurred our interest, but we guess it’s because this tiny Mediterranean rock are populated by so many kind, friendly and wonderful people who are just as crazy about Eurovision as we are. And the weather’s a lot nicer in Valletta than in Oslo, especially during the national finals’ season. We have simply adopted Malta as our second home country in ESC and had our bank accounts been bigger we would have probably applied for citizenship already.
Whatta great evening yesterday was, filled with all that Maltese fabulousness live streamed to us from Valletta. It was almost as if we could feel the heat streaming right into our deep frozen Nordic souls, and we’re sure Daniel Testa gave a little extra just to help us turn the sun over here. We so wish we were in Marsa tonight, taking part in all that cheering and partying, but at least we are sending all the love and crossed fingers we can, both from Oslo and New York.
While we are freezing our asses off in Norway, things are really starting to heat up in Malta. Man, did we ever feel as misplaced as Vladimir Putin in Euro Club? You might not have known, but being at the very forefront of the industrial development, Malta even reached 2015 already. And what better to do then than to kick off the national final for Eurovision? Coming up is our reviews of tonight’s semi final in MESC, elfejno hmistax:
Yay, the grand final is rapidly approaching in Copenhagen! We just watched the jury final, and here’s a heads up on what to expect:
1.Ukraine: Tick-Tock sung by Mariya Yaremchuk
Struggles to impress us with a man in a hamster wheel. That’s nothing but a nice try when Greece has THREE men on a TRAMPOLINE.
2.Belarus: Cheesecake sung by Teo
Thank God the final at least has one song about cakes. Claims to not be Patrick Swayze, which is great as he never would be able to lift us anyway.
There were rehearsals. Actual, real rehearsals! With artist in clothes! Well, sort of anyway. Here are our first impressions from the second semi final:
1. Malta is definitely coming home with us
Malta’s performance was once again steady as a rock and we’re starting to get that winning feeling. And attention! If you look closely, you will see a selfie of us and Marco Mengoni as a part of their stage backdrop. We are very happy to be up there with the loves of our life during such an important moment in history. Oh, and yeah, we are also glad that 130 million viewers get to see our friendly faces, of course. Vote for us, Marco and Malta. It’s number one, peeps.
2. Mei Feingold is still very angry
Half way through the song we just want to scream “WE GOT YOUR POINT THE FIRST TIME” back at her. Also, her stage backdrop looks like something from an adaption of a not so pleasant Cormac McCarthy novel. But thumbs up for effort and all.
Ok, we are soon ready with all our reviews this year. Time to focus on what this contest is really about: The men. And who should we look out for in this year’s screens, press conferences and Euro clubs? Time for us to cast our votes:
Teo’s real name is Yuriy Vaschuk. That pretty much does it for us. Oh, and the fact that he is a Belarusian man deadly afraid of being objectified. Welcome to our list, cheesecake.
So. First semi final is no more than a week away and rehearsals are well on their way. Here are some of the most important facts we have picked up on this far:
- Georgia is way funnier than first anticipated.How unbelievably cool is it to bring a parachute onstage? If you are to dance around high as a kite onstage, why not bring your kite, we say. And there is a slight possibility Israel’s lady might blow us all up, so security equipment is welcomed.
- Speaking of Israel, we have an announcement to make: Three pair of pants have been found lurking around the airport looking for their owners. Mei and choir chicks can report to the information desk in order to get fully dressed for next week.
Just as we were starting to give up this year’s contest, someone finally arrived to save our day. We heart you, Malta:
Ah, what fabulous stay we’ve had in Malta. This year we decided to ditch our own country and go to Malta for their national Eurovision final because we know they always have a lot of good songs and we’ve heard so much about how dedicated the glorious Maltese are to Eurovision. Safe to say, we were not disappointed.
Did we ever feel so welcome? Did we ever meet so many beautiful people? Did we ever see so many great artists in one national show? Did we ever meet so many nice men way too small for us? And did we ever drink as cheap wine? Probably not. As sad as we are to leave, our wettest dreams now would be the winner Firelight winning not just our hearts, but the hearts of the entire Europe so we can all go here and have a ball next year. We can think of nothing better.
Ok, so rehearsals are over and we are soon ready for the very exciting semi final. We are now at that stage where we love all the artists and are struggling hard to maintain our critical sense of music. Still, some do stand out. Here comes our hints on what you should be expecting tonight:
1. Amber: Because I have you
We don’t remember how this one went. That pretty much sums it up.
2. Chris Grech: Oblivion
Positively surprised by this one. Gave a strong and confident performance and we reckon this could be one of Bryan Adams’ secret sons in Malta.
3. Romina Mamo: Addictive
The best part about this one is our favorite Maltese friend Jes Sciberras, AKA The Birdman, is dancing along to it. Whatta dancer, whatta man. Also loving the fact that they are all dressed in shiny sequins. We’ll be bringing feathers and cheering no matter what happens.