Musical entertainment, stage decoration hobbies and the occasional dancing set aside, we all know what this contest is really about: The men. We have now reached the time of the contest when we need to sum up all our male acquaintances before they start disappearing again later tonight. And who did we like the most? Here are the results of the Norwegian jury.
1 point go to…Belarus
So, Uzari barely made our list, although he has got some great potential going for him. Main reason: Hair cut. We really need to talk about how to relate to curls without ending up looking like Lionel Richie, which shouldn’t be a goal for anybody. Until we’ve got that settled, Uzari can seek comfort in jumping back in line for the shop for fancy earrings together with the rest of Europe’s football players. Because that is where he truly belongs.
Lithuania has actually been fairly successful in Eurovision lately, and with the exception of the small mishap with the unfab screaming lady wearing a lampshade in Copenhagen they tend to squeeze through to the Grand Final. Life is simply too short to spend time trying to understand their unbelievably complicated national selection process, and we wouldn’t dream of suggesting to send delegations from less successful countries on a study trip to Vilnius. Although we’re sure there’s some EU funding scheme available for that. But as long as it’s working out for the Lithuanians we see no reason to change it.
There were rehearsals. Actual, real rehearsals! With artist in clothes! Well, sort of anyway. Here are our first impressions from the second semi final:
1. Malta is definitely coming home with us
Malta’s performance was once again steady as a rock and we’re starting to get that winning feeling. And attention! If you look closely, you will see a selfie of us and Marco Mengoni as a part of their stage backdrop. We are very happy to be up there with the loves of our life during such an important moment in history. Oh, and yeah, we are also glad that 130 million viewers get to see our friendly faces, of course. Vote for us, Marco and Malta. It’s number one, peeps.
2. Mei Feingold is still very angry
Half way through the song we just want to scream “WE GOT YOUR POINT THE FIRST TIME” back at her. Also, her stage backdrop looks like something from an adaption of a not so pleasant Cormac McCarthy novel. But thumbs up for effort and all.
It took the Lithuanians close to three months to select their entry for Copenhagen. In what seem to be an endless string of qualifying rounds, where the actual song and the artist were selected separately and then paired together, they ended up with Vilija Matačiūnaitė singing Attention, composed and written by Vilija Matačiūnaitė. Hello? Congratulations on setting a world record in spending unnecessary time and effort. Ever heard of internal selection, national broadcaster in Lithuania? Well, at least the public got to have their say, and those who actually paid any attention (haha) through all 73 or so preliminary rounds were probably pleased with the result. Continue reading
All righty then! While most of our fellow Norwegians have spent the day suffocating in too tight bunads, stuffing their face with ice cream and hotdogs, we have been in Malmø Arena to catch the first dress rehearsal before the Grand Final. How very exiting. Squeal!
We can promise you a wicked show, the Swedes certainly know their stuff and you can really tell they have been gagging to transfer Melodifestivalen to a pan European format.
What makes GEE girls very happy? One lovely Lithuanian lad in leather:
Ah, Andrius. We are truly in love with you too. Except for your lack of control of facial hair, of which we’re sure we can have a conversation, there’s not much bad to say about you. You have a great, Robert Smithy voice and we don’t often see this in Eurovision. We seriously thank thee. Continue reading
You know those embarrassing moments when you draw an important, literal meaning out of something your buddies said and decide to act on it, only to discover they were talking in metaphors and are now laughing their head off around the corner? Lithuania decided to take this one step further:
Oh, well, it didn’t go Stella’s way tonight. We are so disappointed and a little bit shocked we must say, but there’s a lot of countries with crappy entries out there with a lot of good neighbors and the early draw and the sound problems in the beginning of the show didn’t exactly do us any favors. Regardless, we are so proud of Stella and her backing crew, they all did a great job and we couldn’t have asked for more!
This year it was all about sharing the moment. Join us for a quick recap on the most embarrassing moments we experienced during ESC. We had moments where we cringed in embarrassment and other moments when we almost cracked our hips as we fell on the floor laughing our heads off.
Norway running out of champagne
GEE had a fab time at the Official Opening Reception in Oslo City Hall. Who wouldn’t love to stroll up the pink carpet, squeezed in among the delegations from Azerbaijan, Poland and Belarus? It was however quite embarrassing to find out that Mayor Fabian Stang and his crew ran out of pink champagne nearly one hour before the party was supposed to be over. Snappy head waiters shouting at their assistants as well as at the prominent guests who were trying to elbow their way to catch the last drops didn’t make it any better. GEE had to execute major damage control by telling international guests that this is what happens when you offer Norwegians free booze. Speaking of, we do however suspect that the Butterflies from Belarus were also partly to blame for this situation… Continue reading