Latvia hasn’t qualified for the final since 2008 and it makes us wonder why they still bother to show up. And not to mention how they could have saved the rest of us from having to suffer through a whole bunch of shockingly bad entries had they stayed at home. Every single non-qualification have been earnestly deserved, we’ll give them that.
So. First semi final is no more than a week away and rehearsals are well on their way. Here are some of the most important facts we have picked up on this far:
- Georgia is way funnier than first anticipated.How unbelievably cool is it to bring a parachute onstage? If you are to dance around high as a kite onstage, why not bring your kite, we say. And there is a slight possibility Israel’s lady might blow us all up, so security equipment is welcomed.
- Speaking of Israel, we have an announcement to make: Three pair of pants have been found lurking around the airport looking for their owners. Mei and choir chicks can report to the information desk in order to get fully dressed for next week.
So Latvia not making it out of the semi-final for yet another year, you say? No shit, Sherlock!
It’s tempting to start off this review with asking if someone could Please explain this Rubbish (our own interpretation of PeR). We certainly can’t explain anything as we don’t understand the first thing about why the Latvians voted this the winner and gave these blokes the opportunity to embarrass themselves in front of some 100 million TV viewers. We seriously question the Latvians taste as they seem to have refined the art of picking the most godawful entries the past few years. Continue reading
So, Saturday it was finally time for the Eurovision stars to shine and bedazzle us on the red carpet before the official opening party! We heard rumors the party wasn’t that great, so we’re not sorry one bit we weren’t there. We never show up at parties without finger food anyways. But at least an EBU photographer caught the action through his lens and and shared his pics with everyone on the official Eurovision website. As a reward someone should give this guy an introductory course in how to capture the glamour of celebs strolling up the red carpet. Maybe next year he’ll give us something decent to work with. Here are some highlights and (a lot of) lowpoints for you! We’ll do the comments in alphabetical order. It should take you about 4 hours to read through this post. (Oh, and click on the pics to get a bigger image.)
Latvia has given us some godawful entries the past few years. Nothing since 2005 has been worth listening to in our opinion. It’s even hard to single out the absolute low-point, but put on the spot it might just be that pirate song from 2008. All the while the Latvians seem not to get enough of these joke entries, we usually find them vulgar, plain and for the most part not very funny at all. And when not funny, it’s kinda pointless isn’t it?
That’s why we became extremely wary of what the Latvian had selected for us this year. Continue reading
Gone away is that blue feeling, here to stay is that new feeling. We’re totally, utterly, even extremely happy to now see the love of our life, Denmark, plus the almost as loved Ireland and Estonia in the upcoming final Saturday. Because while Tuesday’s voting was somewhat interesting to say the least, this one was all we could hope for. Maybe apart from the fact that we have to survive through yet another three minutes of Swedish screaming.
Some Eurovision entries should come with a warning stapled all over it. This one should read “several run-troughs could cause severe damage to your mental health and may temporary lead to a loss of faith in humanity”. Good grief, this song is so bloody awful that we actually struggle to finish listening to the whole 3 minutes, but we know we have to since we’re suppose to review this travesty and everyone deserves a fair chance. After about 2o seconds in our ears literally hurt and we have to fight the urge to slam the MacBook into the nearest wall.
Reality struck harsh earlier this week when we received the sad news that Latvian singer/songwriter Mārtiņš Freimanis died at only 33 due to serious complications caused by an influenza infection. This week’s Retro Sunday is dedicated to him and goes out to all the people who mourn the loss of this talented young man:
We have previously listed this song as one of our favorite entries of all times. It is such a gem in all its simplicity and even though perhaps not as well performed as it could be, the quality of the song carry Walters & Kazha over troubled vocal water and what they may lack in skills they make up for with bundles of charm and heartfelt joy over being up on that stage in Kiev.
Thank you Mārtiņš Freimanis for giving us this song. RIP.
A far more deserving winner of the Barbara Dex Award would have been Aisha from Latvia. We are not exactly sure what happened here, but here’s a few plausible scenarios. She simply forgot to change into her actual dress before she entered the stage. There just must be an explanation to why she unintentionally appeared in front of 130 million TV viewers dressed in a bathrobe.
After an even closer look we start to wonder if one of the hotel rooms at Oslo Plaza is missing a bedspread or perhaps a curtain. In that case she sort of takes raiding hotel rooms for “free” stuff to another level. We usually settle for shampoos, slippers and shower caps. And no, we don’t wear the slippers and a shower cap while making an important presentation at work. Continue reading