We imagine there must be a kibbutz in Israel dedicated to cultivating whole contingents of prospective Eurovision participants. Every season the domestic market is flooded by freshly squeezed products, ready to populate every talent show there is. Each and every one of them with the ultimate goal of ending up on the ESC stage. Continue reading
So, in true Norwegian style we did not show up in Amsterdam. We were really sad to not experience all the fabulousness that went on in Melkweg, but lucky to have good friends like Schlagerboys and ESCKAZ that shared so perfectly we almost felt like we were there anyway. A big thank you to them and here are our high- and not-so-highlights of the evening:
Most underrated performance by others:
Montenegro. We are seriously impressed that Highway even bothered showing up, knowing the hardcore fans do not exactly favour their music style and can be less than welcoming. But they just have to live with that for a while longer, because with voices like theirs, they are bound to please quite a few voters. And us, which is most important, of course. Also, you have to love a band with two vocalists.
Most surprising performance:
Greta from Iceland, starting off with a beautiful violin solo and following up with a great crowdpleaser of a schlager. Good thing Iceland has a few millions reserved for hosting an international final in a bank account in Panama.
Tonight is a big one coming up for us as Norway is on, and no less than FIVE of the guys on our hotlist. We recommend a bottle of Chardonnay, Valium and an oxygen mask within reach. If all goes well and we don’t pass out with overexcitement before the Czech Republic sings, we hope we will be able to celebrate the following ten countries going through to the Grand Final (click on the links to read our review):
Musical entertainment, stage decoration hobbies and the occasional dancing set aside, we all know what this contest is really about: The men. We have now reached the time of the contest when we need to sum up all our male acquaintances before they start disappearing again later tonight. And who did we like the most? Here are the results of the Norwegian jury.
1 point go to…Belarus
So, Uzari barely made our list, although he has got some great potential going for him. Main reason: Hair cut. We really need to talk about how to relate to curls without ending up looking like Lionel Richie, which shouldn’t be a goal for anybody. Until we’ve got that settled, Uzari can seek comfort in jumping back in line for the shop for fancy earrings together with the rest of Europe’s football players. Because that is where he truly belongs.
There’s something golden in the state of Israel:
OK, so we consider ourselves to be pretty principled people with high ethical standards. Meaning we will never drink wine coolers, pay under the table, go to a Judas Priest concert, wear beige or support anything related to not so fine gentlemen like Benjamin Netanyahu and Vladimir Putin. All in the name of love, of course. Hail the unstoppables!
There were rehearsals. Actual, real rehearsals! With artist in clothes! Well, sort of anyway. Here are our first impressions from the second semi final:
1. Malta is definitely coming home with us
Malta’s performance was once again steady as a rock and we’re starting to get that winning feeling. And attention! If you look closely, you will see a selfie of us and Marco Mengoni as a part of their stage backdrop. We are very happy to be up there with the loves of our life during such an important moment in history. Oh, and yeah, we are also glad that 130 million viewers get to see our friendly faces, of course. Vote for us, Marco and Malta. It’s number one, peeps.
2. Mei Feingold is still very angry
Half way through the song we just want to scream “WE GOT YOUR POINT THE FIRST TIME” back at her. Also, her stage backdrop looks like something from an adaption of a not so pleasant Cormac McCarthy novel. But thumbs up for effort and all.
So. First semi final is no more than a week away and rehearsals are well on their way. Here are some of the most important facts we have picked up on this far:
- Georgia is way funnier than first anticipated.How unbelievably cool is it to bring a parachute onstage? If you are to dance around high as a kite onstage, why not bring your kite, we say. And there is a slight possibility Israel’s lady might blow us all up, so security equipment is welcomed.
- Speaking of Israel, we have an announcement to make: Three pair of pants have been found lurking around the airport looking for their owners. Mei and choir chicks can report to the information desk in order to get fully dressed for next week.
Israel is a Eurovision loving country with plenty of fine accomplishments to show for throughout the years. But recently they’ve not managed to come up with an entry worthy of a place in the Grand Final. No wonder they’re mad.
We can’t review this song without talking about the whole naughty librarian look going on here. In fact, it’s so disrupting we forget to even listen to the song. The Israeli delegation should seriously sack the stylist and sort this out before they come to Malmö. Judging by the flood of comments it has created on various blogs and fan forums we’re quite sure it’s been picked up on and have made the top of their to do list already. Continue reading
As kids we were always a little afraid of clowns. Then as we grew up and got our reality checks on the big world in order, we were major afraid of Israel. Here’s all our worst nightmares perfectly combined:
Ah, Israel. We so wish we didn’t have to relate to you at all. But here you are. Occupying our Eurovisional territory with all you whining and dining and welcome the cirkus. Pleading for us to take you seriously. Couldn’t you at least bring us a decent song? We mean, this is actually so polluting we can soon blame you for global warming. Along with…you know, all sorts.