OMG, we are so happy we sent our assistant to Jerusalem to stuff a note into that wall as it seems all our prayers are already heard: PAPAI JOCI is not only BACK IN EUROVISION looking as amazing as ever, but he also agreed to an EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW with us, probably because his fabulous PR agent Símon got sick of us bothering him 24-7.
Anyway, we met on a beautiful open space in Tel Aviv and had a great talk. It went like this:
Hurrah! We are finally present in the Tel Aviv Expo arena ready to give you our semi-final 1 reviews based on the first dress rehearsal. We started with some electricity problems. Maybe this was just a demonstration of what it feels like when your supply is cut, which is a common problem in some areas here, we’ve heard. But after a few minutes delay we were ready to go. Nu kör vi!
Finally. After hours of discussion, after shedding blood and tears, after many a chardonnay bottle and painful rehearsals, after shutting down all the whining from our gay friends with bad taste, we have reached a verdict in Eurovision’s most significant competition: Who is the hottest male artist of 2019?
Yay, the rehearsals officially started in Tel Aviv today and even tough we are not there on the ground quite yet it is looking absolutely fabulous already. Never mind those 90 missiles fired in the hood. Here’s what we really noticed:
Yay, we are at the press center watching the jury final before tomorrow’s Grand Final. This is, as many of you know, the dress rehearsal with a live audience upon which all the juries votes for tomorrow are based, so it matters a lot how the artists are doing at this very moment. Fuckups have been known to happen before and we have been known to report them. This is what we noticed: Continue reading
Earlier this year we hardly believed our slightly challenged ear drums: Hungary had picked a metal band to represent them in Eurovision? And they even had a key change?
Being from the country that invented metal, we needed a chat, of course. A sunny afternoon in Lisbon, we rushed out of being interviewed by some Norwegian media and they rushed out of hair and make-up ahead of the dress rehearsal and we managed to meet half way between the press center and the venue with a very stricked, armed Portuguese guard looking over our shoulders. Continue reading
We got 7 out of 10 of our favorites through to the Grand Final. Let’s see if we can beat that tonight! We had a big row at Hard Rock Cafe last night to settle on a list, the fanboys next to us looked a little scared. Turns out we have changed our minds about a few since we wrote the reviews, click on the links see which ones. Continue reading
As the actual jury final tonight interrupts with our busy party schedule we watched the second dress rehearsal from the arena. Here’s what we noticed!
Norway: The fact that Alex is currently third in the press center poll where everybody hates his song with passion tells us that he’s in with a pretty good shot at winning the whole shebang. Continue reading
It’s not easy getting attention as a Eurovision artist this year. After all, we are in the country where everyone from renovation workers to police officers to the average shop keeper look like they are replaced by super models, and we’ll more than gladly accept a body search by security guards. But we still have a few nice guys on our hands and we feel the responsibility for awarding them for that, of course.
The jury has worked long and hard, binging on Chardonnay and trying not to drown in any #metoo sinking holes along the way. But eventually we made our list. And here be the points of the real housewives of Norway: Continue reading