What we noticed in the jury final for the grand final 2018

We hate to be stating the obvious, but you are finished. Don’t you know vampires should stay away from the sun? (pic by Thomas Hanses/EBU)

Yay, we are at the press center watching the jury final before tomorrow’s Grand Final. This is, as many of you know, the dress rehearsal with a live audience upon which all the juries votes for tomorrow are based, so it matters a lot how the artists are doing at this very moment. Fuckups have been known to happen before and we have been known to report them. This is what we noticed: Continue reading

The Big 5 + Portugal Reviews 2018

– Hey, Ermal, the GEE ladies are to the left. (Photo by: Andres Putting/EBU)

The Big 5 are looking quite strong this year, well except from the UK and Spain obviously. Quite unexpectedly we do not think that neither Spain nor Germany will finish last this year, so it’s awfully nice of the UK to take over. Here’s our Big 5 and host country’s reviews nicely lined up for you: Continue reading

Hattrick for Germany?

According to the German delegation’s zealous PR-people their entry for the Eurovision Song Contest 2017 is the perfect liaison of Nordic metropolitan charm, a husky voice of international class, and a song that will delight Europe. Oh, how we beg to differ.

Germany seems to have made a habit out of churning last places lately and by the look if it, they’ve done it again with Levina’s Perfect Life. This is of course very fortunate for the UK, but we would imagine it wouldn’t take too much effort to aim a tiny tad higher. Continue reading

The Big 5 + Sweden reviews

france rehearsal ebu thomas hanses
No funny comment here, we just needed an excuse to post a picture of this fabulous bloke. Pic by EBU/Thomas Hanses

With all the Nordic countries relegated in the semi finals we can at least take comfort in Sweden being directly qualified as the host country. Now we know who to send all those friendly neighbor votes to! Then we have the Big 5 countries that can’t be bothered to actually go the trouble of qualifying so they pop up rather unexpectedly in the Grand Final. At the very least a couple of them sent a cracking tune this year! Here are our reviews, nicely lined up for you:

 

Sketchy Germany

We can only assume that all the artists competing in this year’s Unser Lied für Stockholm understood the part about winning would actually imply getting on a plane and performing in Globen in May. And we gather the broadcaster NDR vetted them all very carefully to make sure no one had as much as a parking ticket since they obviously forgot to do just that when they initially selected Xavier Naidoo. Who knew Germany could create so much drama? Pass us the popcorn!

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Germany smoked out a winner eventually

Ok, insert interesting backstory: Unser Song für Österrich blablablablabla, Andreas Kümmert, blablablabla, wait, what? Shock and disbelief! Blablablabla, runner-up, blablablabla, Ann Sophie with Black Smoke!

Unless you have been hiding under a rock since New Years Eve, or don’t have the slightest interest in the Eurovision Song Contest (in case of the latter we wonder why you read our blog), there’s no way you’ve missed this national selection season’s biggest scandal. It was thoroughly covered in a timely manner by most fan sites and even by the mainstream media across Europe so we won’t bore you with details, but this post by our favorite Eurovision bloggers across the pond sums the shenanigans up nicely.

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The Big 5 + Denmark

It rains A LOT in Costa del Sol! Thanks Ruth for giving us yet another reason for NOT going there for our upcoming summer holiday.

During the Jury Final last night all of a sudden a few acts we couldn’t remember from before popped up. We almost forgot that paying your way straight to the final is also an option; only someone forgot to tell Russia and Azerbaijan about it yet. Here are our reviews of the Big 5 and the host country! Continue reading

Grand final: Fun facts and what to expect

Romania
“In the beautiful, Norwegian village of Bryne you can find a piano like this in every home”

Yay, the grand final is rapidly approaching in Copenhagen! We just watched the jury final, and here’s a heads up on what to expect:

1.Ukraine: Tick-Tock sung by Mariya Yaremchuk

Struggles to impress us with a man in a hamster wheel. That’s nothing but a nice try when Greece has THREE men on a TRAMPOLINE.

2.Belarus: Cheesecake sung by Teo

Thank God the final at least has one song about cakes. Claims to not be Patrick Swayze, which is great as he never would be able to lift us anyway.

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