Hattrick for Germany?

According to the German delegation’s zealous PR-people their entry for the Eurovision Song Contest 2017 is the perfect liaison of Nordic metropolitan charm, a husky voice of international class, and a song that will delight Europe. Oh, how we beg to differ.

Germany seems to have made a habit out of churning last places lately and by the look if it, they’ve done it again with Levina’s Perfect Life. This is of course very fortunate for the UK, but we would imagine it wouldn’t take too much effort to aim a tiny tad higher. Continue reading

The Big 5 + Sweden reviews

france rehearsal ebu thomas hanses
No funny comment here, we just needed an excuse to post a picture of this fabulous bloke. Pic by EBU/Thomas Hanses

With all the Nordic countries relegated in the semi finals we can at least take comfort in Sweden being directly qualified as the host country. Now we know who to send all those friendly neighbor votes to! Then we have the Big 5 countries that can’t be bothered to actually go the trouble of qualifying so they pop up rather unexpectedly in the Grand Final. At the very least a couple of them sent a cracking tune this year! Here are our reviews, nicely lined up for you:

 

Sketchy Germany

We can only assume that all the artists competing in this year’s Unser Lied für Stockholm understood the part about winning would actually imply getting on a plane and performing in Globen in May. And we gather the broadcaster NDR vetted them all very carefully to make sure no one had as much as a parking ticket since they obviously forgot to do just that when they initially selected Xavier Naidoo. Who knew Germany could create so much drama? Pass us the popcorn!

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Germany smoked out a winner eventually

Ok, insert interesting backstory: Unser Song für Österrich blablablablabla, Andreas Kümmert, blablablabla, wait, what? Shock and disbelief! Blablablabla, runner-up, blablablabla, Ann Sophie with Black Smoke!

Unless you have been hiding under a rock since New Years Eve, or don’t have the slightest interest in the Eurovision Song Contest (in case of the latter we wonder why you read our blog), there’s no way you’ve missed this national selection season’s biggest scandal. It was thoroughly covered in a timely manner by most fan sites and even by the mainstream media across Europe so we won’t bore you with details, but this post by our favorite Eurovision bloggers across the pond sums the shenanigans up nicely.

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The Big 5 + Denmark

It rains A LOT in Costa del Sol! Thanks Ruth for giving us yet another reason for NOT going there for our upcoming summer holiday.

During the Jury Final last night all of a sudden a few acts we couldn’t remember from before popped up. We almost forgot that paying your way straight to the final is also an option; only someone forgot to tell Russia and Azerbaijan about it yet. Here are our reviews of the Big 5 and the host country! Continue reading

Grand final: Fun facts and what to expect

Romania
“In the beautiful, Norwegian village of Bryne you can find a piano like this in every home”

Yay, the grand final is rapidly approaching in Copenhagen! We just watched the jury final, and here’s a heads up on what to expect:

1.Ukraine: Tick-Tock sung by Mariya Yaremchuk

Struggles to impress us with a man in a hamster wheel. That’s nothing but a nice try when Greece has THREE men on a TRAMPOLINE.

2.Belarus: Cheesecake sung by Teo

Thank God the final at least has one song about cakes. Claims to not be Patrick Swayze, which is great as he never would be able to lift us anyway.

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Ready, set Germany

It sure is a hard knock life being a Eurovisional critic. Because behind every brilliant entry, that is sure to make your heart pound, your head spin and your level of endorphins grow entirely out of proportions, there will be a few not so good ones. Some entries could even classify as bad. And some are so entirely annoying you end up spending your whole weekend feeling sorry for yourself for ever having to review it.

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Eurovision voting guide for losers and relegated

Oh crap, we suddenly realized Norway is actually out. Up until now we have been in denial and sort of wished it was a bad dream. We bet a lot of our fellow country madames et messieurs really struggle to come up with one single reason why to turn on the telly round about nine o’clock tonight, let alone, who on earth should they vote for? And we are in good company with the likes of Portuguese, Israelis and Poles, to mention a few. And not to forget, the Dutch! They should be used to this situation, maybe we should ask them for some advise on how to deal with the humiliation of being among the losers and the relegated.

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