Georgia fight their way back

Now here’s a chick we would rather not run into in a dark alley in the shadier parts of Vienna heading back from Euroclub. Those piercing eyes scare the living daylights out of us. Here’s Georgia’s declaration of war for you!

Perhaps we’ve missed something crucial here, but we cannot quite understand why batshit crazy women with smoldering smokey eyes and a shouty song make the united fannies of Europe squeal with joy and throw raving reviews. Because most people don’t take a particular liking to it, and would prefer not to be screamed at by a scary lady when they sit down with their tacos and sodas to enjoy a spot of annual family friendly televised entertainment. We see a fanwank in the making. It happened to Mei Finegold in Copenhagen and we have a growing suspicion it will be the same story all over again for Nina Sublatti this year. People are simply more induced to put away their carefully curated tortilla wraps for a few seconds to vote for presentable Danish school kids or even the firecracker in a red dress from Serbia with an oh so banal, but understandable and uplifting message.

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You cannot believe what was going on in B&W Hallerne today

There were rehearsals. Actual, real rehearsals! With artist in clothes! Well, sort of anyway. Here are our first impressions from the second semi final:

1. Malta is definitely coming home with us

Malta’s performance was once again steady as a rock and we’re starting to get that winning feeling. And attention! If you look closely, you will see a selfie of us and Marco Mengoni as a part of their stage backdrop. We are very happy to be up there with the loves of our life during such an important moment in history. Oh, and yeah, we are also glad that 130 million viewers get to see our friendly faces, of course. Vote for us, Marco and Malta. It’s number one, peeps.

Firelight
“And to the right we have an image of my favorite girls in Good Evening Europe. Do notice the fine details and carefully planned and coordinated outfits.”

2. Mei Feingold is still very angry

Half way through the song we just want to scream “WE GOT YOUR POINT THE FIRST TIME” back at her. Also, her stage backdrop looks like something from an adaption of a not so pleasant Cormac McCarthy novel. But thumbs up for effort and all.

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First rehearsals. Impressions and fun facts

In case of emergency, please unfold the parachute. Photo: Andres Putting (EBU)
In case of emergency, please unfold your own parachute first, then help your children. Photo: Andres Putting (EBU)

So. First semi final is no more than a week away and rehearsals are well on their way. Here are some of the most important facts we have picked up on this far:

  • Georgia is way funnier than first anticipated.How unbelievably cool is it to bring a parachute onstage? If you are to dance around high as a kite onstage, why not bring your kite, we say. And there is a slight possibility Israel’s lady might blow us all up, so security equipment is welcomed.
  • Speaking of Israel, we have an announcement to make: Three pair of pants have been found lurking around the airport looking for their owners. Mei and choir chicks can report to the information desk in order to get fully dressed for next week.

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Georgia returning home

Last year Georgia thought they could win ESC by stealing Azerbaijan’s successful recipe. Throw a coin (or actually a whole lot of coins) on the swedomat and get an off the rack, one size fits all schlager ballad straight from the assembly line overcrowded by overeager Swedish songwriters, who gladly sell their souls, spines and what little integrity they might have for an opportunity to represent some random dictatorship or totalitarian state in the more shady parts of Europe. Continue reading

Hangover alarm from Georgia

You know after a long party, there’s always a headache threatening you with destruction. This year it is called Georgia:

OMFG, is it even possible to be so utterly, enormously, truly, amazingly, obnoxiously, horribly HORRIBLE and get away it? Oh yes, if you are two overly styled, overly fashioned, overly botoxed, overly groomed people who just had The Swedomat formerly known as Thomas G:son masturbating his love misery and oh so familiar drive-through-take-away song scheme all over you.
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Consider us entertained, Georgia!

Georgia is a likable country. The Georgian people are friendly, warm, generous and throw great parties. In the Eurovision world this has been abundantly awarded in terms of votes from pretty much all across Europe, placing them high on the scoreboard since their debut in 2007. Even Russia has shoved bucket-loads of points in Georgia’s direction, a rather remarkable accomplishment as the Russians after all are supposed to be their archenemies.

After last’s year ear rape by the emoclowns in Eldrine we’re not quite sure exactly what the televoters across Europe find so appealing about this small country by the Black Sea. Continue reading

It's a shokka! Norway is out!

Thank you and good night Europe, it’s been a blast while it lasted!

Oh, well, it didn’t go Stella’s way tonight. We are so disappointed and a little bit shocked we must say, but there’s a lot of countries with crappy entries out there with a lot of good neighbors and the early draw and the sound problems in the beginning of the show didn’t exactly do us any favors. Regardless, we are so proud of Stella and her backing crew, they all did a great job and we couldn’t have asked for more!

 

Here are some highlights and lowpoints according to the GEE jury: Continue reading

Georgian unpleasantries

Never in a million years would we think that Georgia would take us up on our advice of actually changing the lead singer, which was something we blurted out in frustration just after the Georgians decided to send the group Eldrine to Düsseldorf. Because even though as a fan so eloquently pointed out on some online fan forum, his toaster sings better than the former vocalist, kicking her out of the band is just a mean thing to do.

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Georgia hits rock bottom?

Anybody who tuned in to watch the Georgian National Final earlier today care to tell us what the hell happened? One shouty, noisy, out of tune, rock number duly noted. And not to forget, spiced up with something we suspect is meant to be a cool guy rapping, which in every such occasion of course can’t be anything else than an epic fail. Oh, Lord.

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Well played: Fabulous frocks

There were some fabulous frocks on display on the Eurovision stage this year. And if you show up representing your country with a grandiose and pompous ballad it’s simply demanded of you to go for a glamourous prom dress. This can be all wrong with an up-tempo song though, and it’s basically about choosing an outfit that matches both the song and your own personal style. So why 18 year old Sieneke chose to appear on stage looking like a frumpy middle aged housewife is better left unmentioned…

Sofia Nizharadze from Georgia looked absolutely stunning on stage. Before the final the Georgian delegation went to Paris to sort out the choreography and sent Sofia on a shopping spree in Milan to find the perfect dress. This really paid off in Oslo as the whole act was a sight for sore eyes, with Sofia as the centre of attention. GEE were skeptical towards the busy gymnastics routine in the beginning, but Sofia and her crew proved us wrong and pulled the whole thing off with style and grace. Well done!

Omg, who on earth will pay the bill after our party in the Opera-house?

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