What we noticed in the jury final for the grand final 2018

We hate to be stating the obvious, but you are finished. Don’t you know vampires should stay away from the sun? (pic by Thomas Hanses/EBU)

Yay, we are at the press center watching the jury final before tomorrow’s Grand Final. This is, as many of you know, the dress rehearsal with a live audience upon which all the juries votes for tomorrow are based, so it matters a lot how the artists are doing at this very moment. Fuckups have been known to happen before and we have been known to report them. This is what we noticed: Continue reading

The Big 5 + Portugal Reviews 2018

– Hey, Ermal, the GEE ladies are to the left. (Photo by: Andres Putting/EBU)

The Big 5 are looking quite strong this year, well except from the UK and Spain obviously. Quite unexpectedly we do not think that neither Spain nor Germany will finish last this year, so it’s awfully nice of the UK to take over. Here’s our Big 5 and host country’s reviews nicely lined up for you: Continue reading

Momento Mori, France

If only French Eurovision entries could be as entertaining as their politics nowadays.

The French were really on to something last year, with Amir being the most delightful, genuine and talented artist representing the once so great Eurovision nation in years. Arguably, the only thing that kept us from ending up in Paris instead of Kyiv this year was the French’s usual habit of messing up their staging.

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The Big 5 + Sweden reviews

france rehearsal ebu thomas hanses
No funny comment here, we just needed an excuse to post a picture of this fabulous bloke. Pic by EBU/Thomas Hanses

With all the Nordic countries relegated in the semi finals we can at least take comfort in Sweden being directly qualified as the host country. Now we know who to send all those friendly neighbor votes to! Then we have the Big 5 countries that can’t be bothered to actually go the trouble of qualifying so they pop up rather unexpectedly in the Grand Final. At the very least a couple of them sent a cracking tune this year! Here are our reviews, nicely lined up for you:

 

First impressions from the first dress rehearsal of the first semi-final

Yay, we just attended the first dress rehearsal for the first semi-final and it is shaping up to be a fabulous show. Here’s our first impressions for you:

01 Finland Sandhja Sing It Away

We keep mixing this up with the Spanish song. Which is not a good sign in our book. Backing singers are sweeping the floor with their microphone stands. Hope they get paid by SVT.

02 Greece Argo Utopian Land

Those who think this won’t qualify are seriously deluded. Sporting steaming hot bloke who rips his shirt off towards the end. Opa!

03 Moldova Lidia Isac Falling Stars

We know we are entering into our final week psychosis when we look at each other in nodding approval for the Moldovan entry. If we can’t have Laika the lonely dog in space in Eurovision, at least we can have a hot cosmonaut doing a summersault on stage.

04 Hungary Freddie Pioneer

Stands on what appears to be a perfectly marbled entrecote, which is pretty great because we love a good steak! He’s quite beefy too, come to think of it. We’ll take him medium rare, thank you. Yum!

hungary first dress rehearsal ebu andres putting
Beefy Pic by Andres Putting/EBU
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Highlights from the Red Carpet

Last night it was time for the opening party in Stockholm! With the plebeians kept comfortably at arms length, the Eurovision stars finally got to officially meet and greet each other. But before hogging into the free champagne and finger food at the swanky City Hall, they did their schlager duty and had a stroll down the red carpet to show off their finest rags and feathers.

We did of course miss our own Agnete, which was exactly to be expected. We offered to step in, but strangely we never received a reply to that email. Oh well, it’s their loss! As the organizers obviously preferred to keep us safely behind the barriers we made the most out of it and bellowed as loud as we could to catch the stars’ attention. Here’s a few red carpet highlights for you, with pics by yours truly and our buddies over at EBU.

Belarus red carpet
We were happy to see that IVAN picked up our styling tips and showed up on the red carpet without wolves, but with a manbun. Jared Leto might not be that well known in Belarus, but apparently they do read our blog over there. Photo by GEE

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Our night: Dining with our favorite schlagerboys, hooking up with our favorite artists and dancing with Helena Paparizou

Hooray and then some, we just refueled on mexican food and remembered we had a fabulous time yesterday!

We started our day in the press center, where we attended Latvia‘s and Poland‘s press conference. Michal Szpak looked great in his David Bowie sweater. We even got to ask him a question, which was such a sad excuse for trying to get ourselves on tv. But he told us his his soul was red and that he also liked Guri’s blue top, which was mostly white. And he said he wanted to touch us in the semi final, which is more than we ever dared to hope for.

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Hottest Eurovision Male 2016 Pageant

Finally. It’s the one time of year when we get to focus on the most important thing in our life: Who is the best-looking bloke in Eurovision?

The jury had a hard time this year. There were a lot of great applications, and many argued their case well, which once again reminded us what a great year 2016 is for fabulousness. In the end we just had to share a bottle of pinot and get down to business. The jury has taken the following criteria into consideration: looks, charm, style, shaggability, social skills, likelihood of showing up in Euroclub and the ability to wear clothes while being surrounded by highly dangerous animals. Other than that, we have followed the strict EBU guidelines, of course, allowing gay flags, but not at all relating to any kind of politics. Everybody knows those politicians are boring anyway.

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The ultimate flag post

In Norway we’re still holding our breath and crossing our fingers for Agnete to actually show up in Stockholm, but otherwise it seems like the preparations before the rehearsals kick off in Globen are running along smoothly. A sneak peak of how the stage will look like tells us that we’re about to get reacquainted with the good old television test signal, which will give a nice retro touch to the competition. Well done, SVT!

stagetest
Can anyone actually tell the difference here?

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