Nordic Noir From The Finns

We suppose the Finns did Nordic Noir long before those cheeky Danes started cutting corpses in half on the Øresund Brigde. Growing up in Norway back when we only had one TV-channel we’ve seen our fair share of bizarre Finnish TV-series where people solved their marriage problems with a chainsaw, had vodka for breakfast and sat their houses on fire on a regular basis. Heck, even Finnish children’s books are enough to scare the living daylights out of anyone. Like when The Groke comes to kill everyone in Moominvally, good thing Moominpappa has a gun! Continue reading

First impressions from the first dress rehearsal of the first semi-final

Yay, we just attended the first dress rehearsal for the first semi-final and it is shaping up to be a fabulous show. Here’s our first impressions for you:

01 Finland Sandhja Sing It Away

We keep mixing this up with the Spanish song. Which is not a good sign in our book. Backing singers are sweeping the floor with their microphone stands. Hope they get paid by SVT.

02 Greece Argo Utopian Land

Those who think this won’t qualify are seriously deluded. Sporting steaming hot bloke who rips his shirt off towards the end. Opa!

03 Moldova Lidia Isac Falling Stars

We know we are entering into our final week psychosis when we look at each other in nodding approval for the Moldovan entry. If we can’t have Laika the lonely dog in space in Eurovision, at least we can have a hot cosmonaut doing a summersault on stage.

04 Hungary Freddie Pioneer

Stands on what appears to be a perfectly marbled entrecote, which is pretty great because we love a good steak! He’s quite beefy too, come to think of it. We’ll take him medium rare, thank you. Yum!

hungary first dress rehearsal ebu andres putting
Beefy Pic by Andres Putting/EBU
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The Finns preach the gospel

For those of you who think of Finland as a country chuck full of mute, distant people filled with melancholia and infinite sadness, here’s an effective energy pill to cure you from such misconceptions.

We’re not sure how we feel about being deprived of our own bias towards the Finns though. And after all tales of loss and sorrow told in minor key often make great art. Continue reading

OMG! The first semi-final is today!

– Here’s a sneak peak of Mr. Putin’s expansion plans. Go ahead and vote for us, suckers!

Sadly you won’t find your favorite Eurovision bloggers reporting live from the press center and from premier VIP seating inside the arena this year. Due to a series of unforeseen circumstances, which we won’t bore you with the details. But we promise to be back on location next year when it’s Italy’s turn to host Eurovision again!

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Grand final: Fun facts and what to expect

Romania
“In the beautiful, Norwegian village of Bryne you can find a piano like this in every home”

Yay, the grand final is rapidly approaching in Copenhagen! We just watched the jury final, and here’s a heads up on what to expect:

1.Ukraine: Tick-Tock sung by Mariya Yaremchuk

Struggles to impress us with a man in a hamster wheel. That’s nothing but a nice try when Greece has THREE men on a TRAMPOLINE.

2.Belarus: Cheesecake sung by Teo

Thank God the final at least has one song about cakes. Claims to not be Patrick Swayze, which is great as he never would be able to lift us anyway.

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You cannot believe what was going on in B&W Hallerne today

There were rehearsals. Actual, real rehearsals! With artist in clothes! Well, sort of anyway. Here are our first impressions from the second semi final:

1. Malta is definitely coming home with us

Malta’s performance was once again steady as a rock and we’re starting to get that winning feeling. And attention! If you look closely, you will see a selfie of us and Marco Mengoni as a part of their stage backdrop. We are very happy to be up there with the loves of our life during such an important moment in history. Oh, and yeah, we are also glad that 130 million viewers get to see our friendly faces, of course. Vote for us, Marco and Malta. It’s number one, peeps.

Firelight
“And to the right we have an image of my favorite girls in Good Evening Europe. Do notice the fine details and carefully planned and coordinated outfits.”

2. Mei Feingold is still very angry

Half way through the song we just want to scream “WE GOT YOUR POINT THE FIRST TIME” back at her. Also, her stage backdrop looks like something from an adaption of a not so pleasant Cormac McCarthy novel. But thumbs up for effort and all.

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Eyes wide open for the Finns

We had one of our many WTF moments during the national final season after our first listen to what the Finns had selected for Baku. She actually sings in Swedish? And yes we know it’s an official language in Finland, but only spoken by a small minority. And isn’t this a yawnathon of epic proportions? A gigantic kiss goodbye to a ticket to the final, because no-one outside Finland would get the first thing about this strange and dreary ballad? We didn’t even bother to listen through the whole song, we sort of just immediately wrote it off as chance-less.

Then we had a second listen, and something happened. Continue reading