Hurrah! We are finally present in the Tel Aviv Expo arena ready to give you our semi-final 1 reviews based on the first dress rehearsal. We started with some electricity problems. Maybe this was just a demonstration of what it feels like when your supply is cut, which is a common problem in some areas here, we’ve heard. But after a few minutes delay we were ready to go. Nu kör vi!
Finally. After hours of discussion, after shedding blood and tears, after many a chardonnay bottle and painful rehearsals, after shutting down all the whining from our gay friends with bad taste, we have reached a verdict in Eurovision’s most significant competition: Who is the hottest male artist of 2019?
Clearly #metoo are yet to reach Tel Aviv (Photos by: goes without saying, the one and only Andres Putting!)
Yay, the rehearsals officially started in Tel Aviv today and even tough we are not there on the ground quite yet it is looking absolutely fabulous already. Never mind those 90 missiles fired in the hood. Here’s what we really noticed:
Darude, showing the very latest in DJ facial hair in rural Finland: A French wax landing strip
What makes a good song? That is a question frequently raised as Eurovision season hits peak level, and not only by Alexander Rybak. How do we as critics decide what’s good and not? How do voters and juries at home judge entries? Who will win? And will it be a well deserved victory?
We hate to be stating the obvious, but you are finished. Don’t you know vampires should stay away from the sun? (pic by Thomas Hanses/EBU)
Yay, we are at the press center watching the jury final before tomorrow’s Grand Final. This is, as many of you know, the dress rehearsal with a live audience upon which all the juries votes for tomorrow are based, so it matters a lot how the artists are doing at this very moment. Fuckups have been known to happen before and we have been known to report them. This is what we noticed: Continue reading
Clearly someone forgot to read the list of prohibited items in the arena. (pic by Andres Putting/EBU)
Hurrah! The day of the first semi-final is finally here, and it’s time for us to pick our 10 favorites. This is by no means a proper prediction, it’s the ten songs we would like to see go through to the Grand Final. And the best of luck to those who are trying to predict anything tonight, it will be carnage. As usual you can read our reviews by clicking on the links below. Enjoy the show tonight! Continue reading
– Where are you when we need you, Tahir? We are in desperately need of a plan here. And not the least some cognac for the Norwegian blogger ladies. (Pic by Andres Putting/EBU)Yay, we are just done with the jury final for the first semi final and the juries must be having a hard time deciding, because there were some great entries in here and all artists did a great job. We’re super excited about the semi final tomorrow, and of course about the result. This is what we noticed: Continue reading
Last time Finland brought monsters to Eurovision, they won.
Saara Aalto was voted “The Most Positive Person in Finland” in 2017 which we suppose means she smiled at one point during that year. Whether it also earned her the right to represent Finland in Eurovision in 2018 we dunno, but YLE didn’t want to risk the chance of her ending as runner-up in UMK for yet another year. Having Saara onboard in Lisbon might not be enough to permanently change our conception of the Finns, but we can’t deny being a tad smitten with her bubbly personality. Continue reading
We suppose the Finns did Nordic Noir long before those cheeky Danes started cutting corpses in half on the Øresund Brigde. Growing up in Norway back when we only had one TV-channel we’ve seen our fair share of bizarre Finnish TV-series where people solved their marriage problems with a chainsaw, had vodka for breakfast and sat their houses on fire on a regular basis. Heck, even Finnish children’s books are enough to scare the living daylights out of anyone. Like when The Groke comes to kill everyone in Moominvally, good thing Moominpappa has a gun! Continue reading
Yay, we just attended the first dress rehearsal for the first semi-final and it is shaping up to be a fabulous show. Here’s our first impressions for you:
01 Finland Sandhja Sing It Away
We keep mixing this up with the Spanish song. Which is not a good sign in our book. Backing singers are sweeping the floor with their microphone stands. Hope they get paid by SVT.
02 Greece Argo Utopian Land
Those who think this won’t qualify are seriously deluded. Sporting steaming hot bloke who rips his shirt off towards the end. Opa!
03 Moldova Lidia Isac Falling Stars
We know we are entering into our final week psychosis when we look at each other in nodding approval for the Moldovan entry. If we can’t have Laika the lonely dog in space in Eurovision, at least we can have a hot cosmonaut doing a summersault on stage.
04 Hungary Freddie Pioneer
Stands on what appears to be a perfectly marbled entrecote, which is pretty great because we love a good steak! He’s quite beefy too, come to think of it. We’ll take him medium rare, thank you. Yum!