Yay, we are at the press center watching the jury final before tomorrow’s Grand Final. This is, as many of you know, the dress rehearsal with a live audience upon which all the juries votes for tomorrow are based, so it matters a lot how the artists are doing at this very moment. Fuckups have been known to happen before and we have been known to report them. This is what we noticed: Continue reading
Hurrah! The day of the first semi-final is finally here, and it’s time for us to pick our 10 favorites. This is by no means a proper prediction, it’s the ten songs we would like to see go through to the Grand Final. And the best of luck to those who are trying to predict anything tonight, it will be carnage. As usual you can read our reviews by clicking on the links below. Enjoy the show tonight! Continue reading
Cyprus is back to an entry that is bound to plague the living daylight out of Ayia Napa’s beaches.
Is this a giant mistake where we posted a headline meant for our soft porn blog? Nah, don’t worry. We’re just trying to wrap our head around Cyprus this year:
Yay, we just attended the first dress rehearsal for the first semi-final and it is shaping up to be a fabulous show. Here’s our first impressions for you:
01 Finland Sandhja Sing It Away
We keep mixing this up with the Spanish song. Which is not a good sign in our book. Backing singers are sweeping the floor with their microphone stands. Hope they get paid by SVT.
02 Greece Argo Utopian Land
Those who think this won’t qualify are seriously deluded. Sporting steaming hot bloke who rips his shirt off towards the end. Opa!
03 Moldova Lidia Isac Falling Stars
We know we are entering into our final week psychosis when we look at each other in nodding approval for the Moldovan entry. If we can’t have Laika the lonely dog in space in Eurovision, at least we can have a hot cosmonaut doing a summersault on stage.
04 Hungary Freddie Pioneer
Stands on what appears to be a perfectly marbled entrecote, which is pretty great because we love a good steak! He’s quite beefy too, come to think of it. We’ll take him medium rare, thank you. Yum!
Hooray and then some, we just refueled on mexican food and remembered we had a fabulous time yesterday!
We started our day in the press center, where we attended Latvia‘s and Poland‘s press conference. Michal Szpak looked great in his David Bowie sweater. We even got to ask him a question, which was such a sad excuse for trying to get ourselves on tv. But he told us his his soul was red and that he also liked Guri’s blue top, which was mostly white. And he said he wanted to touch us in the semi final, which is more than we ever dared to hope for.
Finally. It’s the one time of year when we get to focus on the most important thing in our life: Who is the best-looking bloke in Eurovision?
The jury had a hard time this year. There were a lot of great applications, and many argued their case well, which once again reminded us what a great year 2016 is for fabulousness. In the end we just had to share a bottle of pinot and get down to business. The jury has taken the following criteria into consideration: looks, charm, style, shaggability, social skills, likelihood of showing up in Euroclub and the ability to wear clothes while being surrounded by highly dangerous animals. Other than that, we have followed the strict EBU guidelines, of course, allowing gay flags, but not at all relating to any kind of politics. Everybody knows those politicians are boring anyway.
Didn’t forget our duties, though. Here are the awards of the GEE jury:
Funkiest woman onstage: Bulgaria’s Poli Genova. What a fabulous gal she is! We are shaving off half our hair and joining her fan club any minute now.
Best performance: France’s Amir. Singing Golden boy. Can we please get that in EuroClub too, hon? Seven a day keeps the blues away – and the GEE girls your biggest fans for life.
So, in true Norwegian style we did not show up in Amsterdam. We were really sad to not experience all the fabulousness that went on in Melkweg, but lucky to have good friends like Schlagerboys and ESCKAZ that shared so perfectly we almost felt like we were there anyway. A big thank you to them and here are our high- and not-so-highlights of the evening:
Most underrated performance by others:
Montenegro. We are seriously impressed that Highway even bothered showing up, knowing the hardcore fans do not exactly favour their music style and can be less than welcoming. But they just have to live with that for a while longer, because with voices like theirs, they are bound to please quite a few voters. And us, which is most important, of course. Also, you have to love a band with two vocalists.
Most surprising performance:
Greta from Iceland, starting off with a beautiful violin solo and following up with a great crowdpleaser of a schlager. Good thing Iceland has a few millions reserved for hosting an international final in a bank account in Panama.