Belarusian Conspiracy Theories

Belarus moves from IVAN to NAVIband, and we are supposed to believe it’s a coincidence? Speak for yourselves fellow Eurovision fans, but we won’t be fooled that easily!

The band explains that all they want do is to tell the history of their country, culture and traditions through their song. Doesn’t anybody besides us find it more than a little suspicious when they decide to sing in a language next to no one understands? There must be a hidden message in there somewhere, cleverly luring its way into our sub-consciousness. We’re telling you, it’s propaganda of the worst sort. Continue reading

First impressions from the first dress rehearsal of the second semi final

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– No, no, no, Andres Putting, don’t come any closer! Pic by EBU/Andres Putting

Yay, we remembered there were 18 more songs to go and just saw the first dress rehearsal for the second semi final. It is also brewing up to be a great show, of course. The undisputable highlight being our favourite Schlagerboys appearing on the big screen, driving around in a taxi, which we’ve heard is shady business in Stockholm. This is what else to expect:

01 Latvia Justs Heartbeat

Has shown a vast selection of leather jackets, so it is a bit disappointing that he chose the black one for the stage. Maybe he should borrow Poland’s stylist? Other than that, douze points for effort. Will be in the run for best performance in the final together with Hungary’s Freddie.

02 Poland Michał Szpak Color Of Your Life

After the Bosnia & Herzegovina disaster in the first semi final, we are happy there is at least half a cello left for Poland. Michal wants people to sing along, and we can now reveal why you know that melody so easily: it echoes the riff of “I will survive”, which is a message we keep repeating to ourselves every morning these days. Clever little thing that Captain Jack Sparrow. Continue reading

Highlights from the Red Carpet

Last night it was time for the opening party in Stockholm! With the plebeians kept comfortably at arms length, the Eurovision stars finally got to officially meet and greet each other. But before hogging into the free champagne and finger food at the swanky City Hall, they did their schlager duty and had a stroll down the red carpet to show off their finest rags and feathers.

We did of course miss our own Agnete, which was exactly to be expected. We offered to step in, but strangely we never received a reply to that email. Oh well, it’s their loss! As the organizers obviously preferred to keep us safely behind the barriers we made the most out of it and bellowed as loud as we could to catch the stars’ attention. Here’s a few red carpet highlights for you, with pics by yours truly and our buddies over at EBU.

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We were happy to see that IVAN picked up our styling tips and showed up on the red carpet without wolves, but with a manbun. Jared Leto might not be that well known in Belarus, but apparently they do read our blog over there. Photo by GEE

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Eurovision in Concert – how did it go?

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We ask for the deepest silence possible. We have a golden leather jacket on stage

So, in true Norwegian style we did not show up in Amsterdam. We were really sad to not experience all the fabulousness that went on in Melkweg, but lucky to have good friends like Schlagerboys and ESCKAZ that shared so perfectly we almost felt like we were there anyway. A big thank you to them and here are our high- and not-so-highlights of the evening:

Most underrated performance by others:

Montenegro. We are seriously impressed that Highway even bothered showing up, knowing the hardcore fans do not exactly favour their music style and can be less than welcoming. But they just have to live with that for a while longer, because with voices like theirs, they are bound to please quite a few voters. And us, which is most important, of course. Also, you have to love a band with two vocalists.

Most surprising performance:

Greta from Iceland, starting off with a beautiful violin solo and following up with a great crowdpleaser of a schlager. Good thing Iceland has a few millions reserved for hosting an international final in a bank account in Panama.

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Eurovision in concert – what to expect

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Someone yawning in the corner there? Must be some language confused Austrian onstage
Yay, it is finally time for Eurovision in concert! All hearts be merry. This is the time when artists gather in the city of Amsterdam to show what they are capable of and, more importantly, what they are not capable of in Stockholm in May.

We sadly have to devote our weekend to children’s football and family entertaining, which sounds like worst case of priorities gone bad, but probably awards us a few very needed karma points for when we hop on the speedy train to Stockholm in May to make the best possible use of our newly acquired accreditation. But we’ll be following the Internet from our very smart phones 24-7, of course.

Here’s what we’ll be looking for:

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Oh, just some good Ol’ Belarusian madness

If there is one person in this competition we count on never leaving the madness behind, it is this one:

Why he sings about the opposite, though, is beyond us. Maybe it is some weird form of irony that never got out of Minsk due to certain import/export restrictions. Nonetheless, Ivan is quickly becoming a favorite of ours after showing up in several fan parties singing everybody’s socks off and acting completely bonkers, just like you’re supposed to in Eurovision. Also, there was a prequel of him running all over the Internet making promises about live wolves and naked bodies. More about that in our x-rated section of the internet after Midnight. Let’s talk music.

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Best hair in Eurovision pageant

Can anyone match this extraordinary woman this year? Give us your vote!
Can anyone match the extraordinary Kate this year? Give us your vote!

So there are a few interesting facts about this year’s contest. One being that it is chuck full of rockers, another being that there are lots of recycled participants from the alumni club, but the most important is that there is HAIR. LOTS of it, in fact. Had we not known this was a contest somehow related to music, we would have mistaken it for the annual assembly of Europe’s hair models.

And who has shown the best use of hair so far? It seems most of the women had the same blow dry from a random hair dresser on a street in Manhattan, so we’re going to skip a lot of them. We do not see the need for looking like real housewives of New Jersey just because you are singing a song in Stockholm. Let’s focus on the others.

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Hottest Eurovision male 2015 pageant

Musical entertainment, stage decoration hobbies and the occasional dancing set aside, we all know what this contest is really about: The men. We have now reached the time of the contest when we need to sum up all our male acquaintances before they start disappearing again later tonight. And who did we like the most? Here are the results of the Norwegian jury.

1 point go to…Belarus

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“Look, I borrowed my sister’s accessories. Do you think I look like Skywise now?”

So, Uzari barely made our list, although he has got some great potential going for him. Main reason: Hair cut. We really need to talk about how to relate to curls without ending up looking like  Lionel Richie, which shouldn’t be a goal for anybody. Until we’ve got that settled, Uzari can seek comfort in jumping back in line for the shop for fancy earrings together with the rest of Europe’s football players. Because that is where he truly belongs.

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OMG! The first semi-final is today!

– Here’s a sneak peak of Mr. Putin’s expansion plans. Go ahead and vote for us, suckers!

Sadly you won’t find your favorite Eurovision bloggers reporting live from the press center and from premier VIP seating inside the arena this year. Due to a series of unforeseen circumstances, which we won’t bore you with the details. But we promise to be back on location next year when it’s Italy’s turn to host Eurovision again!

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Time’s ticking for Belarusian success

Shoving a Belarusian violinist on stage in Eurovision has proven to be very successful in the past. We figure Yuri Navrotsky aka Uzari made a smart move teaming up with “The First Violin of Belarus” according to their bio on Eurovision.tv, more commonly known as Maimuna. We always thought that to be Alexander Rybak, but perhaps he has retired.

Being the female part of this duo, Maimuna looks strikingly beautiful and will of course look gorgeous in a fab diva frock. Have you seen an unattractive violinist, like ever? Neither have we. And while we regret not taking violin lessons when we were kids, we also ponder upon the violinist being the Belarusians’ only asset this year or if they actually have a relatively decent song.

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