Time for yet another cute puppy looking dead serious into the camera as if boybands weren’t officially dead and buried. Please welcome Australia:
Yay, we remembered there were 18 more songs to go and just saw the first dress rehearsal for the second semi final. It is also brewing up to be a great show, of course. The undisputable highlight being our favourite Schlagerboys appearing on the big screen, driving around in a taxi, which we’ve heard is shady business in Stockholm. This is what else to expect:
01 Latvia Justs Heartbeat
Has shown a vast selection of leather jackets, so it is a bit disappointing that he chose the black one for the stage. Maybe he should borrow Poland’s stylist? Other than that, douze points for effort. Will be in the run for best performance in the final together with Hungary’s Freddie.
02 Poland Michał Szpak Color Of Your Life
After the Bosnia & Herzegovina disaster in the first semi final, we are happy there is at least half a cello left for Poland. Michal wants people to sing along, and we can now reveal why you know that melody so easily: it echoes the riff of “I will survive”, which is a message we keep repeating to ourselves every morning these days. Clever little thing that Captain Jack Sparrow. Continue reading
There’s something about Australia. No matter what they try to make it all ends up a little too plastic fantastic.
As we all know, this the second time Australia participates in Eurovision, and that is so highly welcomed as a tradition by us, aye? But sadly it is also the second time we end up thinking “Well, that was nice, mate. Next, please!”. It’s not like the song is bad or anything. And both artists have been equally great performers. The song just doesn’t stick with us. We keep wondering if Australia is capable of making anything genuine besides kangaroos, shiraz and Hugh Jackman, and we keep landing on ‘no’.
Musical entertainment, stage decoration hobbies and the occasional dancing set aside, we all know what this contest is really about: The men. We have now reached the time of the contest when we need to sum up all our male acquaintances before they start disappearing again later tonight. And who did we like the most? Here are the results of the Norwegian jury.
1 point go to…Belarus
So, Uzari barely made our list, although he has got some great potential going for him. Main reason: Hair cut. We really need to talk about how to relate to curls without ending up looking like Lionel Richie, which shouldn’t be a goal for anybody. Until we’ve got that settled, Uzari can seek comfort in jumping back in line for the shop for fancy earrings together with the rest of Europe’s football players. Because that is where he truly belongs.
Now here’s a thing we never thought we would do on this blog, review Australia’s Eurovision entry!
Australia’s participation may have come as a real shokka to all of us, but we love surprises and say the more the merrier. The amount of vitriol gushed out on the internet from some fans when EBU announced the news was way out of proportion and almost a little scary. And the self important, scholarly approach a handful of critics took to convince us plebeians why the Aussies were unworthy of joining the EUROPEAN party was quite honestly a little ridiculous. We KNOW that Australia is not a European country. Some people seem to have too much time on their hands and their head too stuck inside the Eurovision bubble. Lighted up folks, it’s only a song contest!