Our Verdict: Jury Final 2019

– We’re already three people here. The last thing we need is a camera man joining us (Photo by: Andres Putting)

The Grand Final is shaping up to be real corker of a show, chuck full of favorites in the first half, and come to think of it, the second half as well. Moreover, the national broadcaster here has been considerate enough to add a number of technical glitches and f*ck-ups which of course adds to the excitement.

Tonight is a big night where the jury will cast their votes, Italy will most likely once again do something to ruin their chances of winning, and we are of course in the Press Center to report about it. Buckle up!

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What we noticed in the jury final for the grand final 2018

We hate to be stating the obvious, but you are finished. Don’t you know vampires should stay away from the sun? (pic by Thomas Hanses/EBU)

Yay, we are at the press center watching the jury final before tomorrow’s Grand Final. This is, as many of you know, the dress rehearsal with a live audience upon which all the juries votes for tomorrow are based, so it matters a lot how the artists are doing at this very moment. Fuckups have been known to happen before and we have been known to report them. This is what we noticed: Continue reading

Our 10 Favorites in the First Semi-Final 2018

Clearly someone forgot to read the list of prohibited items in the arena. (pic by Andres Putting/EBU)

Hurrah! The day of the first semi-final is finally here, and it’s time for us to pick our 10 favorites. This is by no means a proper prediction, it’s the ten songs we would like to see go through to the Grand Final. And the best of luck to those who are trying to predict anything tonight, it will be carnage. As usual you can read our reviews by clicking on the links below. Enjoy the show tonight! Continue reading

Hottest Eurovision male, 2018 edition

It’s not easy getting attention as a Eurovision artist this year. After all, we are in the country where everyone from renovation workers to police officers to the average shop keeper look like they are replaced by super models, and we’ll more than gladly accept a body search by security guards. But we still have a few nice guys on our hands and we feel the responsibility for awarding them for that, of course.

The jury has worked long and hard, binging on Chardonnay and trying not to drown in any #metoo sinking holes along the way. But eventually we made our list. And here be the points of the real housewives of Norway: Continue reading

Albania, go your own way!

Albania continues to be the oddball in this competition and it seems like they are perfectly happy with it. Good for them!

We haven’t been too fond of the Albanian entries lately, mostly because we can’t seem to make head or tail of any of them. A string of non-qualifications and mediocre results indicates that the rest of Europe struggle too, still not a single f is given in Tirana because of it. The Festivali i Këngës format remains unchanged and continues to relentlessly churn out unconventional, inaccessible, leftfield winners, destined to fail when faced with international juries looking for hit potential and televoters in search of a banger to get behind.

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Albania’s estranged world

When we have nothing interesting to say about an entry we’re reviewing we usually turn to the artists’ bio on Eurovision.tv. What a goldmine of useless information and general nonsense, mostly written in poor English. This is also the place where we can pick up a few random fun facts about everything from where the artists have obtained their university degrees, how many talent shows they have attended and perhaps also won, and whether they have a (lucky) routine before they go on stage. Continue reading

First impressions from the first dress rehearsal of the second semi final

ukraine ebu andres putting
– No, no, no, Andres Putting, don’t come any closer! Pic by EBU/Andres Putting

Yay, we remembered there were 18 more songs to go and just saw the first dress rehearsal for the second semi final. It is also brewing up to be a great show, of course. The undisputable highlight being our favourite Schlagerboys appearing on the big screen, driving around in a taxi, which we’ve heard is shady business in Stockholm. This is what else to expect:

01 Latvia Justs Heartbeat

Has shown a vast selection of leather jackets, so it is a bit disappointing that he chose the black one for the stage. Maybe he should borrow Poland’s stylist? Other than that, douze points for effort. Will be in the run for best performance in the final together with Hungary’s Freddie.

02 Poland Michał Szpak Color Of Your Life

After the Bosnia & Herzegovina disaster in the first semi final, we are happy there is at least half a cello left for Poland. Michal wants people to sing along, and we can now reveal why you know that melody so easily: it echoes the riff of “I will survive”, which is a message we keep repeating to ourselves every morning these days. Clever little thing that Captain Jack Sparrow. Continue reading