The Grand Final is shaping up to be real corker of a show, chuck full of favorites in the first half, and come to think of it, the second half as well. Moreover, the national broadcaster here has been considerate enough to add a number of technical glitches and f*ck-ups which of course adds to the excitement.
Tonight is a big night where the jury will cast their votes, Italy will most likely once again do something to ruin their chances of winning, and we are of course in the Press Center to report about it. Buckle up!
Hooray, today is the 17th of May – our national day, where we celebrate getting rid of Denmark and, eventually, Sweden. How very appropriate, then, that KEiiNO kicked it off right around midnight here in Tel Aviv by MAKING IT TO THE FINAL. Unfortunately, they had to bring aforementioned Scandinavian countries, but that’s of no concern to a group of three extremely talented people that can sing and joik Växsjö tabernacle choir’s socks off any day.
So we just finished one semi final and then it turns out there’s another one? This Eurovision thing truly is the gift that keeps on giving. As usual the jury final later tonight interrupts our party schedule so we watched the first dress rehearsal of the second final and this is our verdict.
OMG, we are so happy we sent our assistant to Jerusalem to stuff a note into that wall as it seems all our prayers are already heard: PAPAI JOCI is not only BACK IN EUROVISION looking as amazing as ever, but he also agreed to an EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW with us, probably because his fabulous PR agent Símon got sick of us bothering him 24-7.
Anyway, we met on a beautiful open space in Tel Aviv and had a great talk. It went like this:
Hurrah! We are finally present in the Tel Aviv Expo arena ready to give you our semi-final 1 reviews based on the first dress rehearsal. We started with some electricity problems. Maybe this was just a demonstration of what it feels like when your supply is cut, which is a common problem in some areas here, we’ve heard. But after a few minutes delay we were ready to go. Nu kör vi!
Finally. After hours of discussion, after shedding blood and tears, after many a chardonnay bottle and painful rehearsals, after shutting down all the whining from our gay friends with bad taste, we have reached a verdict in Eurovision’s most significant competition: Who is the hottest male artist of 2019?
Today we want to start with awarding Egypt for giving us both Mahmood and, quite recently, a cease-fire for this year’s Eurovision. Great effort and dedication. They should be invited to have Australia’s spot next year. Anyway, we are ready to focus solely on life inside the arena. And here’s what we noticed during today’s rehearsals: