In GEE headquarters, we might not be world famous for our love of Sweden. After all we are a)Not easily impressed by teenagers with slick backs and standard formula songs and b)Norwegian, thus born with a wide, not-so-pleasant vocabulary specifically meant for people across our holy border, apologies delivered and accepted, and c)still a bit grumpy about that Jämtland and Herjedalen thing.
Then again, there’s good things going on in the Eastern outskirts of Norway occasionally. They are the home of knytblus and a whole family of Skarsgård men and Fotografiska museum. Oh, and Sir Thomas G:Son. So we figured it was worth taking a look at. This is our humble opinion of the participants in this year’s Melodifestivalen, in running order. If they are not put in corona quarantine by Saturday, that is.
So we finally have a Norwegian participant for Eurovision! We think. The debate is still red-hot in Norway as the voting system crash landed in the worst possible way Saturday night, and a representative jury of 30 persons was left with the job of picking the gold final participants. Safe to say, that wasn’t so well received and it has been noted that 30 very anonymous people are currently seeking admission to the witness protection program of Iowa. We wish them all the best
Nonetheless. This very representative jury of two stays put and has awards to hand out.
OMG, we’re loving the fact that NRK has brought the regional MGP semi-finals back and this weekend we get to see the top of the crop of what the Eastern part of the country has to offer. And if you think the most densely populated part of Norway offers fierce competition, think again! Perhaps NRK forgot to tell the real artists currently residing in and around Oslo about the submission deadline, but nevermind. Lucky for us we’re having a white January and are all set with a generous glass of chardonnay in front of the telly around eight to watch the usual shenanigans. Oh joy!
Yay, Norway fired up the concept of regional semifinals again and they are now ON. That will probably be a huge success, given the fact that outdoor Norway is pitch black and cold and boring at the moment and we are all broke after a way too long Christmas holiday of expensive food and alcohol every day, similar to Eurovision week, so there’s nothing left to do than to sit inside and watch the telly.
The Grand Final is shaping up to be real corker of a show, chuck full of favorites in the first half, and come to think of it, the second half as well. Moreover, the national broadcaster here has been considerate enough to add a number of technical glitches and f*ck-ups which of course adds to the excitement.
Tonight is a big night where the jury will cast their votes, Italy will most likely once again do something to ruin their chances of winning, and we are of course in the Press Center to report about it. Buckle up!
Hooray, today is the 17th of May – our national day, where we celebrate getting rid of Denmark and, eventually, Sweden. How very appropriate, then, that KEiiNO kicked it off right around midnight here in Tel Aviv by MAKING IT TO THE FINAL. Unfortunately, they had to bring aforementioned Scandinavian countries, but that’s of no concern to a group of three extremely talented people that can sing and joik Växsjö tabernacle choir’s socks off any day.
So we just finished one semi final and then it turns out there’s another one? This Eurovision thing truly is the gift that keeps on giving. As usual the jury final later tonight interrupts our party schedule so we watched the first dress rehearsal of the second final and this is our verdict.
OMG, we are so happy we sent our assistant to Jerusalem to stuff a note into that wall as it seems all our prayers are already heard: PAPAI JOCI is not only BACK IN EUROVISION looking as amazing as ever, but he also agreed to an EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW with us, probably because his fabulous PR agent Símon got sick of us bothering him 24-7.
Anyway, we met on a beautiful open space in Tel Aviv and had a great talk. It went like this:
Hurrah! We are finally present in the Tel Aviv Expo arena ready to give you our semi-final 1 reviews based on the first dress rehearsal. We started with some electricity problems. Maybe this was just a demonstration of what it feels like when your supply is cut, which is a common problem in some areas here, we’ve heard. But after a few minutes delay we were ready to go. Nu kör vi!
Finally. After hours of discussion, after shedding blood and tears, after many a chardonnay bottle and painful rehearsals, after shutting down all the whining from our gay friends with bad taste, we have reached a verdict in Eurovision’s most significant competition: Who is the hottest male artist of 2019?