MGP 2020 – awards of the season

Note to self: When a participant poses in this jacket with shiny accessory formerly known as Bettan ahead of the final, it is likely someone wants this person to win. Pic by Christoffer Gunnestad/NRK

So we finally have a Norwegian participant for Eurovision! We think. The debate is still red-hot in Norway as the voting system crash landed in the worst possible way Saturday night, and a representative jury of 30 persons was left with the job of picking the gold final participants. Safe to say, that wasn’t so well received and it has been noted that 30 very anonymous people are currently seeking admission to the witness protection program of Iowa. We wish them all the best

Nonetheless. This very representative jury of two stays put and has awards to hand out.

Isn’t it annoying when all those former boyband members wants the real stars to pose with them for pictures?

Best in-your-face-Agderposten moment goes to Kjetil MΓΈrland from Grimstad, winning the whole thing right after Agderposten has been dead certain of Arendal chick Raylee‘s victory for weeks. Guess that was a good reminder to increase journalist’s travel budget in those regional newspapers of Norway so they’re at least able to move beyond their office’s wifi reach.

Best improvement by far goes to Liza Vazillieva, moving from the role of Liza, the boring botox chick singing about being gay while insisting on being straight to the role of Liza, the most amazing Russian who likes to dress up in drag and deliver fireworks onstage! Why didn’t she win again? Oh, that’s right…

No use in wearing all those sunblocks anymore. Blisters are the new loud!

Best STD awareness-raising campaign goes to Tone Damli, dressing her entire body in herpes blisters, only to remind people of what happens if you adapt to common behavior in the dark corners of Euro Club. Now expecting the Polish or Irish artist to follow up with free condoms come May.

Best display of a need for quite a few awareness-raising campaigns goes to NRK’s Stig Karlsen, claiming 30 people is very representative for the ENTIRE 5 million population of Norway. Now doing a crowdfund to get that guy through statistic class. For the sake of more quiet Sundays, at least.

Best OMG-he-just-grew-up-and-totally-should-join-us-for-Rotterdam moment goes to Didrik Solli-Tangen, throwing his badge into the bin and aiming his best swear words at NRK in social media after the voting scandal was a fact. We KNEW he would get rid of that smirky smile and come around eventually.

I promise you. It is this big.

Biggest lost chance of Europe goes to Rein Alexander for not reaching the gold final. He totally would have won if he had ended up there. Just like all the other artists.

Best comeback moment goes to Sir Jon Ola Sand for showing up all happy and tipsy, only to witness what happens when he is NOT involved in the production.

Worst getting-off-our-high-horse moment goes to ourselves, arriving directly from the work against human rights violations in Bucharest to the MGP final, only to discover the authorities care just as little about people’s voices here as in Romania last year. Must remind ourselves to adjust that Nordic self-esteem a little.

Best OMG-we-have-to-get-started-on-that-popcorn moment: Tone Damli‘s manager David Eriksen threatening to sue NRK over the voting scandal. We are dead certain he will take all the way to the European court of human rights. We’ll be there to hold his hand, of course.

Sorry for covering my ear. It’s just that the manager of Tone Damli keeps screaming obscenities into it.

The award for keeping it classy goes to Ulrikke. She rose above the noise and enjoyed her victory. Which was 100 per cent well deserved. Also, she beat Tone Damli, for which she gets an extra honorable mention. Can’t wait to share this one with Europe.

Best business idea goes to the NRK, who in the times of GDPR managed to get the email addresses out of hundred thousands of people too desperate trying to vote to remember they were giving away personal information for free. Hello, endless newsletters about a bunch of crap we don’t want to be watching.

Biggest comfort hug of the century goes to the MGP team of NRK. Because even though they screwed a small, but significant thing up in the end, they have been doing a tremendous job at improving the MGP show, and everything but the voting made us real proud. We love you in spite of everything, guys. Here’s a dozen of emojis for you: πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’“πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’“πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’“πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’“πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’“πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’“πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’“πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’“πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’“πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’“πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’“πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’“πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’“πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’“πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’“πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’“πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’“πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’“πŸ™ŒπŸ»πŸ§‘πŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’œ

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