Yay, Norway fired up the concept of regional semifinals again and they are now ON. That will probably be a huge success, given the fact that outdoor Norway is pitch black and cold and boring at the moment and we are all broke after a way too long Christmas holiday of expensive food and alcohol every day, similar to Eurovision week, so there’s nothing left to do than to sit inside and watch the telly.
This weekend we’ll see the first final and it is supposed to be the final of our southern region, although it is actually held in Oslo, where they think the country ends right around the ferry to Denmark. GEE headquarters is nonetheless present here in the actual Southern Norway, where there’s so much wind we’re stuck on our little rock in the ocean, hoping electricity won’t fail.
Just in case, we already listened to the songs. First, there’s one hunky young man called Kim Rysstad, delivering a strong power ballad about rainbows just so we’re SURE the gays get the message. But we’re not that gay so we move on to the next one, Geirmund. Turns out he gives ladies over 30 a headache, so let’s skip it. Then there’s Alexander Rybak’s sweetheart dancer Lisa Børud, who really would charm the heck out of Europe at any given opportunity. But we’re sorry to say the song just won’t. Unless you are 10 and dreaming of becoming the next her, that is.
No surprise, then, that we opt for Raylee. But man, do we cheer for her! Here’s at least five reasons why:
- Raylee is from Arendal, probably the best city in the entire south of Norway and luckily NOT the model for Disney’s Arendelle, as most local newspapers seem to believe.
- Her song sounds like both Cyprus 2019 and Cyprus 2018. If you need to plagiarize, at least plagiarize yourself and if you need to steal, at least steal from someone good, we always say. Raylee’s songwriters did all of that. And Arendal is the Cyprus of Norway. Score.
- Apparently, Raylee has a song about the Zoo. And we all know the zoo Dyreparken is the most important tourist attraction in this area. Well done for putting Sørlandet on the map. This will probably be the most famous Southern Norway song since the one about the monkey Julius.
- Raylee has a sister who made her a fabulous dress out of granny’s old bed spread. And family businesses will get you a very long way, as Italians usually say.
- Raylee has a boyfriend from Arendal called Glenn Rune, which is local for Kyle from Hull, so there goes some serious chav points for her. Also, he is a crossfit-trainer, so maybe he could get us all fit for Eurovision season? Almost as easy as winning Eurovision.
That’s it for now. Turn in to NRK for this very important event. And please let us know what happens in case Agder energi shuts us off.