Today we want to start with awarding Egypt for giving us both Mahmood and, quite recently, a cease-fire for this year’s Eurovision. Great effort and dedication. They should be invited to have Australia’s spot next year. Anyway, we are ready to focus solely on life inside the arena. And here’s what we noticed during today’s rehearsals:
Armenia‘s Srbuk opened strongly in black leather boots. But it was all a little meh, to be honest. Or maybe we just didn’t get our coffee yet.
Ireland‘s Sarah McTernan still don’t know how to sing or breathe. Good thing she brought some pop-art for us to look at while keeping our noise cancelling headsets on.
Moldova‘s Anna Odobescu is in a wedding dress. Didn’t they do that whole thing last year? Or maybe they get married every year in May in Moldova? We’ll take Pasha Parfeny next year, please.
Switzerland‘s Luca Hänni scrapped the latino dancing. We couldn’t be more happy. Spain is already more than enough latino for us to handle. According to Wiwi-William, Switzerland shaved his armpits. Or maybe he used wax, like normal people.
Latvia‘s Carousel must have had engine trouble. Or maybe it is meant to be child friendly. Wrong competition for that, we’d say.
Romania‘s Ester Peony certainly did not get the memo about the cease-fire. But heck, they also think it is Sunday today, so maybe news travel a little slowly across the Black Sea:
Denmark‘s Leonora is still cute and reminds us even more of Gianluca. She also brought her kids onstage, and they both made some drawings to put on the backdrop.
Austria‘s Pända is standing around in her wig, pretending to be Austria’s next top hair model. She also started crying onstage. We fear a breakdown before the week is over. Luckily Conchita is arriving in Tel Aviv and will be ready to take over.
Sweden‘s John Lundvik almost gave Wiwibloggs an orgasm on their live stream. Not sure if it was due to narcissism or Lundvik’s performance, but we think the latter was pretty good. And then Megan Markle gave birth to a baby boy, so we stopped listening. He should be UK’s next winner of Eurovision.