FYROM going NoMa going nil points

Get ready for a new country in Eurovision! Or wait, maybe it is just the same old blah-blah-blah:

That North Macedonia has had an interesting start to 2019. During 27 years of not exactly friendly fighting with Greece over who gets to use the name Macedonia, they have been calling themselves Former Yugoslavian Republic of Macedonia or, as we all know it in Eurovision, FYROM in short. But then Athens sort of caved, and in January the country was finally allowed to change its name into North Macedonia. This also paved way for an upcoming NATO membership, so they seem totally ready to conquer Israel with a new name and new super powers. Question is: Did they bring a good theme song?

Well, at least they updated themselves on the latest trend: Women standing up for each other in a harsh world. And women’s right to speak up, not matter what they have to say. It’s like Madeleine Albright had a pep talk with all the female Eurovision artists this year and reminded them where women who don’t help other women end up, and it ain’t in either of the Macedonians, we’ll tell you that much.

Sorry to say, then, that Tamara Todevska won’t get much help from us in trying to reach the Eurovision final. She can believe in her own greatness all she wants, we do not believe in it one bit. Her song is just too blunt and too 90s version of Mariah Carey, with too much Operah Winfrey in monitor and more cliches than an average E.L. James novel. Maybe it works in the 8th of March celebrations of Skopje, but in Norway we are past that.

Let us just raise our voice and say it loudly one more time: We do not approve of this! But welcome to NATO all the same.

At least she looks good dressed in a cherry three, we’ll give her that much.

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