Montenegrin Minors

Sometimes reviewing Eurovision entries feels a bit like spring cleaning, every year there’s a load of crap you just have to go through to get done with it. Today we finally got around to crossing Montenegro off our list. 

We actually had to search for a bit to find footage of the original live performance of this entry from the national final Montevizija, and it makes us wonder if someone from the Montenegrin delegation is actively making sure to erase it from YouTube. We can’t blame them as the performance was so shockingly poor we cannot even begin to understand how this got around to actually winning. Is every single person in Montenegro tone deaf? One should think that if you are to coin a band a vocal group this implies that the members can sing in tune.

Well anyways, the song has gone through a revamp and an old bloke with a funny traditional string instrument has been added to the mix. We are assuming they took pointers from Serbia’s old bloke playing a flute last year, but sadly enough they can’t bring him onstage as D mol is already populated with 6 people singing out of tune. At least the old bloke has a rather prominent role in the preview video which is the usual random mix of sweeping images of gorgeous landscapes, probably sponsored by the national tourist board, damsels in distress basking around in the snow and some jolly good times in front of a blazing camp fire.

Heaven sounds like a theme song for an American television drama series focusing on good Christian family values, and D mol’s group members could have been the cast in said TV series. And we wouldn’t be surprised if they create some drama in Tel Aviv. We wonder who is dating who and what the delegation will do if any of them break up, and who is going to make sure they keep their bedtimes and stay off the booze in Euroclub? We’ll do our best to investigate these rather pressing matters in May. Stay tuned, as they say, or out of tune as they say in Montenegro.

Breaking news: MyHeritage just found out they all have ancestry from H&M! #noad (photo: eurovision.tv) 

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