Weather Report from the UK

We are starting to grow tired of trashing UK’s entries, but here we go again!

Over the years we’ve had a lot to say about UK’s take on Eurovision and it feels like we have been repeating ourselves like a broken record. Even though a few baby steps have been taken in the right direction over the past few years; the UK still remains the competition’s laughing stock. How very sad for all the British fans and quite honestly for the rest of us who grew up when the UK still was the pinnacle of pop music both inside and outside the Eurovision bubble.

To be fair, it looks like the BBC are really trying to crack the code. The problem is however that everyone with a British passport involved in Eurovision are so caught up in what they think the competition is all about they are unable to see what it has evolved into. It’s been a long time since vulgar joke entries, anthemic pop songs about peace and love and dramatic musical numbers garnered much support. While this is what cheeky Swedes make funny and entertaining interval acts out of, the Brits relentlessly insist on entering the actual competition with the same material and expects to be rewarded for it.

This year the amazingly talented SuRie will defend the Union Jack, and we wish her the best but unfortunately she has been lumbered with a ehrm, wooden song. SuRie is no stranger to Eurovision as she’s been on the Belgian team twice, and this season she’s been running around Europe being Miss Congeniality in all the preview parties, winning the Internet with her charm and wit and she is in every way a delight. But in the end this won’t score her any points when the entry Storm is so spectacularly unspectacular.

In a year where the other directly qualified countries have managed to come up with entries that are bound to score a few points here and there, we will not be surprised if this one finishes last in the Grand Final. It may even end up with the dreaded nil points, as we cannot see how anyone else other than the British themselves would be enticed to actually vote for it. And unfortunately for darling SuRie, this is still against the rules.

The statistical likelihood of being selected to compete in the Eurovision Song Contest in 2018 increase by 25% if you have pink hair. (photo credit:


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