Cyprus goes Shakira

Cyprus is back to an entry that is bound to plague the living daylight out of Ayia Napa’s beaches.

Apart from a well placed ethnic rhythm, Fuego is a song that could represent any given country in any given year. But there ain’t necessarily anything wrong with that. It has it all: Nonsensical lyrics that attract pyrotechnics, a woman with no pants on, an exciting buildup, a few ayeayeas delievered directly from the farm Karen Blixen had in Africa, a wind machine evoking the Sirocco, a vast amount of feathers, a few unidentified ethnic instruments and a little more Swedish touch-ups than needed. It is bound to hit the dance floors of EuroClub real hard, and we’ll make sure to shake our booties until we are fly fly flyin.

Just like Italy’s artist Ermal Meta, Eleni Foureira is born in Albania. This brings us to two conclusions: a)The Albanians are going to have a hard time placing their votes this year and b)If we were to produce kids, we definitely know which country to do it in. Foureira is an experienced Eurosong artist, who have made several attempts at representing Greece in Eurovision, the most famous perhaps being “Come Tiki Tam” in 2016. She was also a member of the Greek version of Spice Girls, Mystique, from where she is mostly famous for making up stories about herself being both Brazilian and Mexican until she finally had to come clean as Albanian. And now she is apparently Cypriotic. What an intriguing woman, we’d say! But Albanians might save their votes for Ermal anyway, come to think of it.

If we are to judge by the lyrics, we might as well keep shut. If we are to judge by the video, Eleni has left her inner Sporty Spice and tries to place herself in between Shakira and Beyonce, where the space is not exactly vast open. But she seems to have the power to hold on to her seat, as she is walking around in open landscapes like WonderWoman, setting fire to any cars she might stumble upon before returning to that empty castle of hers where she spends her evenings draping herself in body glitter. We’re sure she’ll hold on to her place in the final as well and can’t wait for the lioness to dance us to happiness in the wee hours of the EuroClub disco. What you see is what you get. Or is it?

– Fake news, you say? No, I swear to God I originate from Iceland!

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