Sink like a stone, Switzerland

Ok, peeps, we have a whopping 43 reviews to churn out over the next couple of months, so we better get on with it. Here’s Switzerland for you!

The Swiss struggle to get their s*it together on the Eurovision stage. It seems like they fail to understand that without the support of reliable bloc voting, they really need to stand out to get noticed. That they are in need something remarkable, like a woman with a beard, or a pixie girl in a LBD and cute mockney accent. And most of all they need a good song. So instead of an endless stream of mediocre pop music, we would have loved to see something completely different, like wacko yodeling in Rhaeto-Romanic. It’s not like it could end up doing any worse, after all this is a country that has ended up dead last twice in their three last attempts to reach the grand final.

It’s actually quite ironic what happened in Kyiv last year, when two Romanians represented Switzerland and failed to qualify with a slick, soulless ballad, while cheeky Romania yodeled their way into top 10.

But that’s all water under the bridge by now, and a new year brings new opportunities! The siblings in Zibbz won the Die Entscheidungsshow convincingly with Stones, a dynamic, uptempo song in the indie pop rock department. And we actually quite like it. It’s competently performed by artists who seem to have a good time on stage. Sister Corinne Gfeller is fun and funky and her brother, Stee looks cool behind his drum set. We’re guessing the performance will sound and look pretty much the same on stage in Lisbon, and it’s not bad.

Still, we think it will sink like a stone in the semi-final. But at least the Swiss fans can safely get through the designated three minutes with their heads held high. Which at least is something of an improvement, we guess.