What to expect from Malta elfejn u tmintax!

– Attention, everyone! Do we have the GEE ladies in the audience? We repeat: Any GEE ladies on our precious little rock?

OMG, it’s time for our favorite national final again: MALTA. And we have been way to sloppy on giving you updates. We are not even on our favourite Mediterranean rock at this moment which is no less than a scandal. But we follow it closely on our beloved Internet of course. And so should you. Here’s what to expect from tonight:

Daniel Testa is not in the show, which is scandal number two. Repeat after us, please: There should never be a Maltese final without Daniel Testa, just like there should never be a Eurovision final without Italy. Someone fix this situation promptly.

Anyway, the first contestant is Aidanand he is super fun. Also, he brought with him Daniel’s dancers, Daniel’s sound and Daniel’s moves. We think he more or less is Daniel. And that isn’t a bad thing.

Next up is Miriana Conte, who tries to be Beyoncé and succeeds pretty well. This is one of our favorites and we’ll happily cheer for it in LIsbon. We cannot even begin to understand how they can fit so many funky artists into one tiny little rock, but if anyone can, it’s Malta. Still saving up for that citizenship.

Then there’s Jasmine. TVM claims this is a song with substance. Maybe her message is something about women’s right to scream on an on about transient astronomical events onstage in Ta’ Qali, but that’s not a cause we support. Totally support her thigh high red boots, though.

Matthew Anthony is endlessly calling tomorrow from that same stage. Tomorrow just called back and said those disco rhythms are out of fashion. But plus for weird instruments and cool glasses.

Then there’s Danica, which, by the way, is also the name of an old-fashioned china dinnerware from Royal Copenhagen. Oh no, crap, that’s actually Flora Danica.

Dwett is singing a…correct, duet. What a creative name! It’s about love and hate and needing and all that.

Now, Lawrence Grey is pretty cute. On mute. Wait, that actually rhymed!

Then we are super happy to see that Richard Micallef is still in the game and he even brought with him dapper dad Joe, who sounds a bit like Van Morrison, which is almost always wrong, but not this time. The song is similar to the Firelight one, and we trust they will use a picture of us as their stage backdrop again if they win, so we’ll cheer for these guys. Richard is serenading his dad, which is kind of safe and boring when he stands right next to him. Next time, may we suggest serenading his favorite Norwegian fans instead?

Tiziana is not our favorite. She should have spent her time making a new song, not doing origami.

Elonor Cassar is also singing.

And then Rihannon is yet another funky woman and delivers the best ballad of the evening. We approve.

Brooke is obviously a great artist, and a fun chorus tells us this could do pretty well on the dance floor of LIsbon’s Euro Club. In spite of some killer heels, she is a bit prim and proper for our taste, though.

Christabelle Borg is also still in the game, and we love how open she is about mental illness this time. Love the gal, not so fond of her Swedish songwriter sound. We all know Thomas G:Son can do better than this.

Another returning artist is Deborah C, this time with a real schlager that sounds very much like something from Helena Paparizou’s scrap pile. And that’s not half bad. Only a little disappointed when we found out she wasn’t singing about sigars, but was saying “Zigha”. Here we were, thinking there was a song about Monica Lewinsky in MESC!

Avenue Sky is the only boyband of the evening. Thank Gawd.

Petra finishes the evening with the promise of revolution. Let’s hope it’s not MESC that’s in for a revamp, because this show is about as good as it gets. Malta’s definitely got the power, and we can’t wait to see show they’ll send to LIsbon.

Best of luck to everyone. We’ll be watching!

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