The San Sational Valentina Monetta Is Back!

Does the term “quit while you are ahead” mean anything to Valentina Monetta? We’d go with a “no” on this one.

As this year’s review season draws to an end we figured out we have been reviewing some 320 songs since we started putting our ramblings online back in 2010. Three of these songs have been performed by Valentina Monetta and we’d say this is at least one too many. We thought Val got her fairytale ending in Copenhagen when she finally qualified for the Grand Final. Why not sell the movie rights to Hollywood and live happily ever after? Maybe even Nicole Kidman could play her part.

Turns out Val missed being inside the Eurovision bubble, and after only two years of absence she’s back. How very convenient to hail from a microstate where it doesn’t matter if you have a good song and you don’t have to be bothered with fighting off actual competition as long as you can put enough money on the table. Who knew being a jazz singer based in London could be so lucrative?

In principle we’re in favor of making it possible for the smaller states to participate in Eurovision. It would be lovely to have Andorra, Luxembourg and Monaco as regulars along with San Marino; if it brings greater variety to the line-up, that is. Showing up with the same singer with a substandard entry written by the same composer for years on end on the other hand, shouldn’t be made possible. In principle we have nothing against returning artists either. We love it when someone we know shows up with a banger of a song, like the Sunstroke Project this year. It is however a good idea to wait long enough for people to start missing you first.

Like the bumblebee defying the laws of physics not realizing it shouldn’t be able to fly, Valentina Monetta keeps showing up in the Eurovision Song Contest. We suppose we just have to live with it, whether we like it or not. For all we know she might keep at it until she ends up winning the whole thing, all tough we seriously doubt that will ever happen. And most definitely not this year.

Oh, we forgot to mention that Val has joined forces with an American bloke named Jimmie Wilson this year. He starred as President Obama in a musical, which is pretty cool if you ask us. We also forgot to review the actual song. “Spirit of the Night”, but nevermind. Photo credit: Claude Langlois

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