Australia being great. So great.

Time for yet another cute puppy looking dead serious into the camera as if boybands weren’t officially dead and buried. Please welcome Australia:

Guess we just have to accept it now: Australia is a part of this competition. Is it something we are happy about? Well. We ARE happy about all those great Australian fans who show up, for sure. And Australia winning the competition is probably the only way Germany will be able to host again. Then again, something never seems quite right with their entries.

Take this one. It is nice and sweet and mellow and all that. But isn’t it a little…blunt or dull or polished, even? Or is that just our Eurocentric mind talking?

Isaiah is one of those kids with an incredible voice that show up in Eurovision from time to time, seeming all lost on their way to junior Eurovision, but still heartily welcomed. Not our cup of tea, as they are young enough to be our kids, but then again, so are most artists these days.

The song sounds like any song we’ve heard on late night radio, in an average clothing shop or in a rural hotel bar the last ten years. We probably wouldn’t have minded it as such, but we wouldn’t exactly have noticed it either. Isaiah sure doesn’t upset anybody. How could he? There’s nothing to criticize. And sadly that also means nothing to notice. We’re sure Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban make love to this. The rest of us can just do whatever and concentrate on that.

We can’t figure out the meaning behind these lyrics either. Singing about life between the sheets with someone when you are barely out of elementary school is sort of disturbing to us, as is the fact that he has been burnt a million times, which promises a very long and hard life for a very, VERY sensitive soul. But might be he is just referring to his stuffed koala bear. Then there’s the part about things not coming easy or cheap. Maybe it is some kind of reality check to Donald Trump, who just discovered being a president in one of the world’s most important countries isn’t as easy as one might think. We don’t know, and honestly, we don’t care that much. It’s not like this seemed so heartfelt to begin with.

In the end this feels like an episode of Home and Away or Neighbours. It works. It does what it is supposed to. No one is really doing anything wrong. And that just kills the whole energy. But it probably pleases a crowd well enough. Then again, so does Marine Le Pen. Best of luck, darling.

Oh, honey. No wonder you are continuously hurt if you insist on wrapping yourself in stinging plants.

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