50 reasons to love Italy

There shall be no doubt: The fan community expects Italy to win this year. The odds are close to one, and not even great countries in the East are trying to throw a spanner into the works of the lovely Francesco Gabbani and his ginormous teddy bear. We have no trouble with that. There are at least 50 reasons to love Italy this year: 

  1. They simply have the best entry this year
  2. And the best entry should always win. Unless it is from Sweden or Russia. (NO! JOKING! DON’T KILL US!)
  3. Also, they have the prettiest singer
  4. And the loveliest singer
  5. And the best dressed singer
  6. And the best singer, on an overall assessment
  7. There will be KING KONG
  8. KONG! THE EIGHTH WONDER OF THE WORLD!
  9. And monsters do NOT belong in B movies, but in fact onstage in Eurovision
  10. Anyone who chooses a full size chimpanzee as his teddy bear deserves a little extra love
  11. Fans have started their “he shouldn’t win because he is the favorite” campaign now. Meaning Francesco won’t be the most political correct winner come May. Which suits us perfectly.
  12. Some people have been saying Francesco can’t sing. Which is clear evidence there must be a fake entry circulating somewhere. Oh, how happy these guys will be when Francesco hits the stage in Kyiv.
  13. There is a dance to this song. And it’s mostly about waving your hands above your head, which even women over 30 can do. Allez!
  14. Francesco Gabbani is from Carrara, home of marble, so we expect a giant marble statue of him in Capitol when he wins. Will be such a nice addition to the selection up there.
  15. There will be mentions of Hamlet
  16. And Panta Rhei
  17. And Namaste Allez!
  18. And scimmianudaballa
  19. …which means a NAKED dancing monkey, come to think of it
  20. And did you see the man who hides underneath that monkey suit? We vote SI to seeing HIM naked.
  21. Francesco loves tales with a grand finale. We have so much in common!
  22. You can actually remember the song
  23. They dare to sing in their own language. Watch and learn, almost all of Europe
  24. The song is catchy and sing along-ish, meaning the fans will be able to sing it after it wins. Watch and learn, Ukraine.
  25. One is able to pronounce Italian. Watch and learn, Portugal.
  26. There is a meaning behind these lyrics. Watch and learn, Sweden.
  27. We totally agree people should stop with their yoga meditation balderdash
  28. Like Nathan Trent does yoga before he goes on stage? What’s that all about? Go get him, Francesco!
  29. Having been rather grungy teenagers in the 90s, we always love to be reminded of Nirvana
  30. And we totally agree evolution is not going so well these days, Donald Trump being elected president an dall
  31. Then we all get to go to Italy next year
  32. And we even have a house in Italy. Just make sure the final is in Rome, and you are all invited to the after party!
  33. Pasta
  34. Pizza
  35. Mozzarella Buffala
  36. Brunello
  37. Prada
  38. You are actually able to read the street names in Italy
  39. Italy is never political. Or, hang on…
  40. But Italy is not at war with the monkey society, meaning there will be no political backlash next year to kill the party mood.
  41. And then Toto Cutogno can show up in next year’s final and sing an Italian song uniting all of Europe, even Russia and Ukraine and Nagorno-Karabakh and Israel and Australia
  42. Italy excels at saving people from drowning, which could come in handy
  43. Then Marco Mengoni can fly down from the roof and sing a song during intermission
  44. Then Paolo Sorrentino can direct all the country presentations
  45. And we know Italy makes all the best tv shows these days
  46. Then Marco D’Amore can host the show. In scampia dialect
  47. Then EuroClub can be in The Colosseum
  48. And Euro Fan Village can be in The Vatican
  49. And Euro Cafe can be in the Borghese galleries
  50. And 2000 years from now on there will still be remnants from this show on display in a museum where American tourists can learn all about it

Oh, how great this victory will be. Ti amo, Francesco! Ti amo KingKong!

A little more rehearsal on how to hold the microphone, and this guy is all set for Kyiv

4 comments

  1. Love, among many other things, the way Donald Trump is an endless source of good fun in this pages! In addition: I’ve never seen the man hiding underneath the monkey suit, but, to put it bluntly, it’s supposed to be a she monkey. La scimmia, you know. So sorry to disappoint you girls! 😀

  2. Funny list with many great points. But you forgot some reasons which I personally find quite important::

    1. He is a result of the Sanremo song festival. Since Italy came back in 2011 they have sent quality entries every year. And what makes Sanremo special is the fact that the main focus is on the music (which doesn’t exclude some funny performances from time to time, like this years entry) And the main reason why they managed to keep that focus is becuase of their efforts to keep the production 100 % live with a live backingband/orchestra..

    2: His Sanremo performance with the live orchestra is to my mind more livevly and funky than the studio version..

    3. An Italian win would be a victory for live music, even though he will not be accomponied by live musicians in Kiev. This because his Sanremo performance is a living proof that live music model also works for our time. It’s simply a matter taking the trubble of putting together the band/orchestra the right way and have top class sound mix production as the Italian have.

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