We Give Up On You, UK

Just to make one thing clear, if the UK ends up doing as badly as usual this year it is NOT because of Brexit.

It must be nice to have something to blame, but as long as the Brits keep telling themselves that they are doomed and will never score as well as they deserve in Eurovision there’s not much hope for improvement anytime soon. Perhaps a long hard gaze into their own navel should be called for instead of pointing the finger at mean neighbors.

In all fairness we should mention that it looks like the Beeb at least have tried to make certain improvements the past couple of years. At least they have stopped dragging people out of retirement and focused of fresh talent, and this year they even invited composers from outside the UK to contribute. It couldn’t have garnered much interest though, judging by the general level in the national final Eurovision: You Decide. And it makes sense to look to Scandinavia with 4 wins the past decade and even better to ask one of those previous winners for a spot of help. Too bad they picked the wrong country; the most obvious country to turn to would have been Sweden, not Denmark also known as the pinnacle of generic and soulless pop music.

We suppose Lucie Jones and Never Give Up On You was the only viable option to choose this year and compared with all the crap UK has managed to spew out over the years it’s rather decent. Lucie can actually sing too, and it sounds oh so pretty and pitch perfect. She treats the ballad she’s been given to sing like a challenging assignment and she’s clearly aiming for that A+ on the oral examination. She is so focused on the technical delivery she totally forgets that she also has a story to tell. We are waiting for her voice to crack, for some grit or just a tiny little glimpse of imperfection that conveys some sort of despair, sorrow or tenaciousness. Nothing here convinces us that Lucie is interpreting the song artistically.

Production vise there is also something missing. Since the naked, stripped down version of this song demands a more emotive and raw performance than what Lucie is capable of giving, it would have benefited from a more massive backing track with dramatic pounding drums. It did the trick last time around for the Dane involved in this number.

We assume Germany graciously will save the UK from ending last in the Grand Final for the third year running. Because even tough Germany is running around Europe being Miss Congeniality with everyone it won’t score them many points in Eurovision. The same way as the UK won’t be punished for being Europe’s selfish spoiled brat. They will be punished for once again competing with a substandard, unappealing entry very few will be enticed to vote for.

We think we got this photo mixed up with the promotional material from a previous season of True Blood. Photo credit: Charlie Clift

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