Ireland Trying To Die

So, what to do when the “throw a former boyband hasbeen on stage and hope for the best” tactic didn’t’ work last year? Cue enter another boyband star!

One should think that when something turns out terribly bad, the first natural thing to do afterwards is to sit down, analyze the situation and try to come up with ideas on what can be changed and improved next time around. But this is evidently not they way things work over at the Irish broadcaster RTÉ. We are starting to think all the smart Irish people immigrated to America.

We won’t be too hard on this year’s selected artist Brendan Murray. After all he can’t be more than around 12 years old and he’s cute as puppy. We will even admit to taking a linking to the song Dying To Try for about the first two minutes. Despite the unusually daft song title and mildly annoying nasal vocals, we are intrigued by the schmaltzy waltz melody that slowly builds with cautious restraint. And usually we are suckers for a big fat keychange and a releasing crescendo. But the problem is, we simply do not think it works here. A perfectly acceptable song is being completely trashed by going apeshit on us for the last minute or so and we don’t particularly appreciate having our ears raped for no good reason.

Furthermore, we’ve had a sneak peak on Brendan’s performances in the preview parties and it doesn’t bode well. It must be known even to incompetent executives over at RTÉ that boyband members are picked mostly based on their looks and not on their ability to carry a tune live. Being generous on the autotune and muting the microphone on stage does not work in Eurovision.

So poor Brendan must be prepared to both look cute and deliver vocally like he’s never done before in Kyiv. The thought of having some 100 million pairs of eares and eyes pointing in your direction can make the most seasoned performer crumble, and we honestly can’t imagine Brendan being the overachieving type under that sort of pressure. But let’s at least hope that he pulls through trying.

Aww, Brendan submitted his sixth grade photo in his promo pic portfolio. Photo credit: Lili Forberg

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