According to the German delegation’s zealous PR-people their entry for the Eurovision Song Contest 2017 is the perfect liaison of Nordic metropolitan charm, a husky voice of international class, and a song that will delight Europe. Oh, how we beg to differ.
Germany seems to have made a habit out of churning last places lately and by the look if it, they’ve done it again with Levina’s Perfect Life. This is of course very fortunate for the UK, but we would imagine it wouldn’t take too much effort to aim a tiny tad higher.
This year’s entry is so incredibly bland and soulless we can’t even be bothered giving it a proper review. Germany is heading straight for the last place in the Grand Final again and it will be the most just and deserved result this season. Perhaps apart from Italy winning, but that’s a different story we’ll come back to later.