OMG, the mothership of all preview concerts went down in Amsterdam last night and a record-breaking number of acts were there to show the fans and press what they have in store for us before the big event in about a months’ time. It’s like band camp for grownups really, and by the look of it lots of friend requests have been sent on Facebook and it will be one big happy family by the time we all meet again in Kyiv. As usual we have some awards to hand out, so here we go again!
The most likely act in need of a volume adjusting button award was won by Anja Nissen from Denmark/Australia. Are we absolutely sure she’s not American? It seems like the most plausible explanation for turning the sound of her voice up to PERMANENTLY REALLY OBNOXIOUSLY LOUD.
The what you see is what you get award goes to Hungary’s Joci Pápai who recreated the performance from A Dal down to every single detail in Amsterdam. He even brought the flower vase on stage with him. When it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, we’re with team Joci on this one!
The most in love with her own song moment was awarded to us by Tamara Gachechiladze from Georgia. Thank you very much, but we think we’ll pass.
The award for best use of rehearsal time during the preview party tour goes to Alma from France who seems to be getting more and more comfortable with her Requiem. She now makes it sound easy fitting one million French words into every single line of the lyrics, which is quite an accomplishment without slamming a bottle of chardonnay down her throat in less than half an hour. Or perhaps that’s what she does before she goes on stage for all we know. The only thing remaining now is for the French to f*ck up the staging in Kyiv as usual.
A big bottle of Ritalin goes to NAVIBAND from Belarus with the friendly advice of getting that ADHD condition under control.
Norma John from Finland won a gift card from Stockman, which they will spend on updating their wardrobe with more colorful outfits before they leave for Kyiv.
The biggest room for improvement award went to Dihaj from Azerbaijan. We figure she will need a) a stage personality, b) a singing voice c) a performance d) fashion advice and e) bangs. Nothing the Azeri delegation can’t fix, in other words.
The least self-aware act of the evening prize went to The Wilson Philips sisters from The Netherlands.
Lindita from Albania won the WTF are you wearing award, showing up on stage almost naked and with the leftovers of her spaghetti carbonara dinner wrapped around her waist.
Worse display of maroon: Germany’s Levina. Why does her entire wardrobe consist of earth tones, doesn’t she know this is against the Eurovision rules? We urge the EBU to write that letter to Angela Merkel right now!
Best moment of the evening: When Italy’s Francesco Gabbani entered the stage. If this year’s contest in Kyiv ends up being cancelled we already have a winner. See you all in Italy next year, peeps!