James Blunt, Austria edition

Time for that obligatory hurt man revealing his inner emotions without the use of emotions again. Please welcome Austria’s James Blunt:

There are reasons to love James Blunt. We mean, in a world where everybody think they are communication professionals and seem to be building their own brand whenever there is a chance anyone can hear them, he is a blast from next door. There is James in social media, totally lacking self-righteousness or any trace of diva syndrome, always answering his worst haters in ways that empower us all a little. There is so much to learn from James Blunt we actually forgive him the ear worms he keeps throwing our way whether we order them or not, and happily let him have his success.

But then there are all the people inspired by James Blunt. You know, those men who keep their music so gentle you wonder if a little more noise would hurt their migraine. And who sing it all in their very sorest of voices, pretending they’ve had such a tough life even when it is quite obvious the worst they’ve had to struggle with is some voice cracking during puberty (wouldn’t they rather stay boys their whole lives?).

Nathan Trent is a fine specimen of the above mentioned, even though he is actually trying to be happy. We were able to listen to 1,39 minutes of his song before craving James Blunt instead, and that is not a good thing. We even tried playing “Running on air” and “You’re Beautiful” at the same time and it sounded ilke a perfectly matched duet. It’s true and we don’t know what to do. Maybe we’ll ask James to make joke about it.

But for now, let’s be fair: This song isn’t half bad. Not Romanian yodelling kind of bad. It sort of bobs along in its own pace, not set out to hurt anyone. And then that is the problem as well. It doesn’t move you, it doesn’t annoy you. It doesn’t please you, it doesn’t make Twitter funny again. It’s not even an earworm. It’s Gianluca Bezzina without the charm and it all seems like unengaged fake news, really. We mean: Is there a single soul in this world that’ll believe this man is running as fast as he can?

According to Eurovision.tv, Nathan Trent does yoga for 30 minutes before he goes onstage. That pretty much explains his problems. How about switching those upward-facing dogs for vodka in Kyiv, hon? We’re sure even James Blunt would approve.

– If you want to try running too, I think this is how you do it (pic. by Martin Hauser)

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