Belarusian Conspiracy Theories

Belarus moves from IVAN to NAVIband, and we are supposed to believe it’s a coincidence? Speak for yourselves fellow Eurovision fans, but we won’t be fooled that easily!

The band explains that all they want do is to tell the history of their country, culture and traditions through their song. Doesn’t anybody besides us find it more than a little suspicious when they decide to sing in a language next to no one understands? There must be a hidden message in there somewhere, cleverly luring its way into our sub-consciousness. We’re telling you, it’s propaganda of the worst sort.

Moreover we find it very hard to believe that so much frolicking around in the woods is being carried out in one of the last dictatorships in Europe. Surely they must feel miserable all the time over there, just look at that sad excuse of a forest, all greyish brown and barren. The frantic banging on the guitar is just suppressed aggression, brewing for years on end and the cheerful singing is a cry for help, as futile as it may seem.

This year’s Belarusian entry is nothing but a cunning attempt of crushing the prejudices and misconceptions us westerners have worked so hard to build up and maintain. We are after all talking about a country that was ruled by the communists only some 25 years ago. Yep, we kid you not. Using art as a mean of building bridges and creating understanding across cultures and language barriers is the oldest trick in the book, and we’re not falling for it.

So you won’t find us jumping around in the arena in Kyiv, throwing our hands in the air and bellowing Hey, Hey! on the chorus like there’s no tomorrow. That would be admitting that this song is actually super-fun and catchy. Nope, we can’t imagine us doing that at all, really.

FUN FACT: The Belarusian city of Polotsk is the geographical centre of Europe. Suck on that EU! Photo: EBU

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