The Czech review checked off our list

From the very very first time we heard this song we almost fell into a coma. Bad sign.

The Czech Republic broke a barrier last year by qualifying for the Grand Final. They are back again this year with something we can sense as a whiff of newfound confidence. Some might even label it as cocky, turning up in Kyiv with a serious jazzy ballad in the adult contemporary category, oozing quality and refinement. We mean, who do they think they are, showing half of Europe in a bad light?

On the other hand, since when did quality equal qualifying in the Eurovision circus? It might just be that the Czechs have made the rookie mistake of miscalculating what brings them ahead in this competition. And we can give Martina Bárta a few friendly advices completely for free. Please don’t show up on stage in Kyiv with lank hair, no make-up and a beige blouse. And unless she is planning to start shooting rainbows out her behind she can forget about flashing her worn-out Sloggi underwear.

If we wanted to feel miserable listening to sobby jazz tunes we’d go somewhere else and certainly not spend heaps of Hryvnias on Eurovision tickets. But hey, at least we know by now when to time our toilet break in the first semi-final.

BREAKING NEWS! From 2017 the Barbara Dex award has changed name to the Martina Bárta award. Photo: EBU

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