Lost in Tallinn!

Not so many people showed up so far, but you know, we are getting there! Pic by Siim Lõvi /ERR.
Not so many people showed up so far, but you know, we are getting there! Pic by Siim Lõvi /ERR.

Yay, we’re at Eesti Laul! Or at least in Tallinn, where we arrived on the same plane as Måns Zelmerlöw. We saw that he travelled on tourist class and even though that was highly inappropriate of SAS, we love him for accepting it. So far we have had our vokda and caviar (isn’t this Russia?), tried on a few vintage Chanel dresses, helped a Russian babushka who fell over in the street, avoided all the people pretending we are in the Middle Ages although people clearly are using iPhones to take their pictures and recieved our free VIP guest cards from the Tourist office so we can get a long and good look at occupation history. Safe to say we love this place, and we haven’t even had our cocktails yet.

Unfortunately, this is not what Måns was wearing on the airplane. But we noticed his suitcase didn’t have room for much, so we have higher expectations for tomorrow’s outfit.

Enough of that tourism. Now time for what we’re really here for: All the fabulous music! What are we expecting tomorrow, other than a warm reuinon with Måns’ delicious ass? Here are our expectations of the entries in running order:

Liis Lemsalu – “Keep Running”

Mello-reject written all over it, meaning rather soulless assembly line pop, performed by a reasonable talented ex talent show participant, who’s trying her best to make the most of the trite lyrics and the lazy nanana chorus. Next, please!

Koit Toome ja Laura – “Verona”

The biggest pre contest favorites within the fan community this year, and not just because it is performed by Estonia’s Eurovision royalty. We can’t deny we’re smitten ourselves. Who doesn’t recognize the feeling of being lost at sea like boats and how annoying it is to misplace medium size Italian towns?

Karl-Kristjan feat. Maian – “Have You Now”

The Estonians seem to have a thing for sweet love duets performed by skinny men with funny hats and shy girls standing with their backs against each other. If this is how relationships usually work over there, we wonder how they manage to secure the population growth. We imagine that’s why vodka was invented. Perhaps this is the final’s dark horse?

Lenna Kuurmaa – “Slingshot”

Lenna has aged 12 years since she last was on the Eurovision stage and we like the fact that she’s using it to her advantage rather than desperately trying to cling to the past, like a few other people we can think of. She gave a rock solid, confident performance in the semi-final and the whole package is cleverly crafted. Apparently there is a good show to go with it in the final too.

Daniel Levi – “All I Need”

Bouncy song with a strong hook by dapper Daniel Levi. What’s not to like? His vocals are a little sketchy and for some incomprehensible reason he was engulfed in pitch darkness and laser beams in the final. We did get front row tickets for a reason so we hope they fix that for the final.

Elina Born – “In or Out”

Elina Born is back again, sans Stig Rästa and a pair of pants, but with considerably more sass and confidence. In or Out unmistakably comes from the same mold as Goodbye to Yesterday with its cool retro vibe and Elina proves she has the looks, the voice and artistry to master the genre to perfection. A star is born, we’re definitely in, and yes both puns are very much intended.

Ivo Linna – “Suur loterii”

Ivo Linna is obviously a popular ol’ man in Estonia, but the affection doesn’t necessarily translate internationally. Think Humpty Dumpty Heffalump for the UK in Baku, and think again Estonia, before sending off grandpa to Kyiv.

Rasmus Rändvee – “This Love”

A polkadotted shirt has never looked hotter! We’re loving the lyrics on the backdrop making it easy to sing along after a few glasses of chardonnay. Be aware, we’ll definitely come looking for Rasmus Rändvee at the afterparty.

Ariadne – “Feel Me Now”

Weakest entries in the Eesti Laul final, which speaks volumes of the overall quality of this year’s line-up. Feel Me Now is a breezy electro-pop number performed by the fresh newcomer Ariadne. It is not enough to show up in a pair of shorts and sneakers, stand still and sing for three minutes. After all this isn’t MGP.

Kerli – “Spirit Animal”

Given the pimp slot in the running order we’re assuming this one won the semi-finals. But it leaves us a little cold, and there’s snow on stage which will leave Måns very cold, shame on her. A tiny tad pretentious and charmless. There’s a limit to how much pouting and twitching and jerking we can take in less than three minutes.

That concludes it. We can’t wait to go to the arena tomorrow and let people prove us wrong. But first a 10 course dinner or so. Oh, and Måns: If you are indeed feeling a little lonely tonight, we got some great tips from a few Russian gals we met on where to get our cocktails and you are most welcome to tag along. Do remember Norwegian women are not like Swedish ones. We do NOT kiss AND tell, for instance.

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